Samurai
Posted: 2016-07-24T14:42:34+10:00 In:

Boxed in a airless cavern, competitive cave divers must plan a headlong exit back to land when a ravenous sea monster breaks their guide lines.

Boxed in a airless cavern, competitive cave divers must plan a headlong exit back to land when a ravenous sea monster breaks their guide lines.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      A lot of the descriptions and actions in the logline are confusing.

      What was the event that resulted in them being trapped in the cave? This would be the inciting incident and needs to be described in the logline.
      For example:
      After an earth quake competitive cave divers are trapped in a cave…

      What is a competitive cave diver? Is this a regulated sport or just a term describing how these people are competitive in nature?

      How many divers are involved?
      Best to specify one character as the main character, and structure the plot around them instead of having?an arbitrary number of characters.

      Lastly the setting is unclear. Are they out at sea? In a cave under the ocean floor? Or in a water filled cave under ground on land that’s connected to the sea?

      As the setting, in this instance, plays such a pivotal role in shaping the plot, it’s best to be very clear on where the story is set. More to the point, the plausibility of the story will rely on the plausibility of the characters in the setting.

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    2. Very confusing. My main problem is if the cavern is airless how did they get in? And if the sea monster broke their guide lines does it know they are there because if not they could wait for it to leave. This definitely needs to be clearer

      • 0