British queen Elizabeth grandson went to Malta to find the Vanished historical Signet Ring in Malta after enshroud his identity, get out of the blue.
bekiLogliner
British queen Elizabeth grandson went to Malta to find the Vanished historical Signet Ring in Malta after enshroud his identity, get out of the blue.
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I am not sure I understand the reason he needs to find the ring.
Why him? Why not one of the queen’s guards for instance? Is there a reason it has to be him? Is there a consequence if he fails?
In a story, the goal has to mean ‘everything’ to the lead character. It could be something small to me or you, like getting a watch, but to the lead character it has to mean everything. Like the watch in Pulp Fiction. To you or me it would just a watch but to the Bruce Willis?character, it meant everything. He was willing to risk his life (and much more lol) to get that watch.
Why do we want the lead character to succeed??What makes the ring so important to the lead character?
Why does he ‘need‘ to find the ring?
Because that should be in the logline.
Here would be an example of a character who ‘must’ find the ring: (Obviously your logline will be different)
—–
“When a bumbling crown prince loses his mother’s royal signet ring, He has three days before the signing of an important peace treaty to find the ring, or lose his place as heir to the throne”
Now the lead ‘must’ find the ring… Why him? because he lost it. What are the consequences? He will lose the crown.?
So in your logline you should add the element which makes it of vital importance the lead find the ring. It will make the logline more compelling and draw the reader in.
Enshrouded identity and out of the blue is strange for me and doesn?t talk of action.
The Prince of (whatever) heads to Malta under an assumed identity in search of a lost historic signet ring hoping to ………
Whatever is his goal.
Bringing joy to an aging Queen Elizabeth
Restore the people?s faith in the monarch
Earn the love of his grandmother
Prove he is more than a party animal
You get the point.
I can usually get a range of the mental picture a logline is about, but this one has me stumped.