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GeneSalvittiLogliner
Posted: May 22, 20172017-05-22T12:06:38+10:00 2017-05-22T12:06:38+10:00In: Drama

Bruce Ismay was ontop of the world until he took one single step off the doomed RMS Titanic and fought the rest of his life to save its memory and his legacy

Bruce Ismay was ontop of the world until he took one single step off the doomed RMS Titanic and fought the rest of his life to save its memory and his legacy
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2017-05-22T14:59:37+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      This is simply a confusing logline.

      I would start from scratch on this one.

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    2. csantan2 Logliner
      2017-05-22T15:37:26+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2017 at 3:37 pm

      I get it. But I think it needs a specific conflict with a time constraint.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2017-05-22T22:28:11+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2017 at 10:28 pm

      This appears to be a biopic based upon the real life character of the chairman of the cruise line that built the ill-fated Titanic. ?He was on that fateful maiden voyage and survived while hundreds of less privileged people perished. ?That he didn’t do the noble thing and go down with the ship dogged him the rest of his life.

      So I presume this is ?a story about his struggle to salvage his career and his reputation. IOW: it’s a redemption story.

      As most people don’t remember him by name, I suggest the logine lead off with something to indicate that this is not a work of fiction, like “The true story of….” or “Inspired by…”

      The logline also needs to more clearly indicate what his objective goal was and his m.o. for achieving it.

      fwiw

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    4. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-05-25T00:14:57+10:00Added an answer on May 25, 2017 at 12:14 am

      Agree with the above, but we still don’t have enough for a story here. His life was not viewed as brave or honorable, so what?

      Unless he has some chance at redemption (we know he doesn’t) then why would we want to watch his misery?

      Cameron infused a love story into the Titanic and used the ill fated voyage as the backdrop for it to foster. The sinking was the tension and time bomb that the audience knows but the players don’t.

      It worked marvelously.

      What does your story have to tell and in what time frame?

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