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writer2
Posted: December 4, 20122012-12-04T20:43:05+10:00 2012-12-04T20:43:05+10:00

Carol Wilson, entangled with a vicious loan shark, forced to smuggle drugs out of South America to pay off her debt with the support of her boyfriend who accompanies her.

10 Days in Paradise

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    2 Reviews

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    1. sharkeatingman
      2012-12-05T00:29:01+10:00Added an answer on December 5, 2012 at 12:29 am

      I always advise against using the character’s name in the logline, unless they are famous. Seems to be missing an “is” (“…is forced…”). It lacks conflict (what happens if she fails?), and the “boyfriend” part is irrelevant for the logline (although I can only surmise that he’s really the person behind the drug operation, but that’s just a guess on my part).

      Needs work…

      Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge

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    2. sharkeatingman
      2012-12-05T00:29:55+10:00Added an answer on December 5, 2012 at 12:29 am

      I meant “stakes, not “conflict”, obviously…

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