Charles needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe from having their baby, whilst Andrew needs to get Rachael pregnant! And Jason has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.
NiiLogliner
Charles needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe from having their baby, whilst Andrew needs to get Rachael pregnant! And Jason has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.
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Why disperse the attention of the audience — and dilute emotional bonding– among 4 characters?? What’s the thesis that you want to dramatize by?lumping them all together into?what seems like a potpourri of a ?story?? Why not focus on just one?
Which one has the strongest story line, the most compelling issues to deal with?
Hi Nii
Bellow is a comment I left on your last iteration it’s relevant to this draft as well.
Consider Friends, the pilot ep of that is about Rachel running out on her own wedding and ending up in the central perk caffe. This is a clear multi protag series but the pilot ep primary plot centered on one character. The writers and producers cleverly showed that there will be many characters in the series by using one character?s plot to show this in the pilot.
Why not structure a plot of only one character then mention the other characters in their relation to the MC?
Hope this helps.
The storyline? is unique it feels like there would be many different angles going at once, and the foreshadowing is excellent. But covering all the characters in detail in a logline seems like to much, maybe a descriptor like “a charismatic group of friends” might help.