Heartstrings
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Needs a little something more. ?It is a good premise, but how does the conflict play out.
Well,?I always thought ?a bucket list is for what you’re? want to do before you die, not what you want someone else to do before you die.? So what his wife has is a dying wish.
Since he’s “aging” himself — why doesn’t he fulfill his own bucket list? Doesn’t he have one, too?? His wife could be dying – or?just died — ?and maybe she never got around to either creating or checking off her bucket list.? So she’s died with regrets for the life she didn’t live.? Which is a motivation for him to make his own, start checking it off:? get busy living — or get busy dying.? Live the remaining years with relish — not regret.
And what’s really at stake for him?? Ultimately, if he’s got to be doing it for himself — not for someone else — otherwise is false goal.
And why would the judge want him ejected?? On what pretext?
And then there is the marketing issue.? The target viewing audience? for this story is?senior citizens.? A demographic the movie?industry has considered to be challenging and not very profitable.??? I suggest pitching your story to some folks the same age as your main character.??Find out if they find it credible and interesting, if it rings emotionally true to their experience of aging.
fwiw
There is some potential in this concept for a few emotional scenes, but I can’t see it holding up over the course of a full length feature.
The stakes are too low and the obstacle too obscure.
Technically speaking the MC’s goal is to win the singing contest, but the event that motivated him to win it is his wife asking him to do so. Failure, a highly likely outcome considering the nature of such reality TV shows, means disappointing his wife that makes her the stakes character. He stuck with her for years through her sickness and did try to win the show, which means she can’t say he doesn’t love her or isn’t willing to go to great lengths to please her. If she were to say he hadn’t done enough for her, it would make her nasty, self centered and inconsiderate.
Disappointing someone who loves him and appreciates him for his efforts will result in a none event, yet if she is a nasty person disappointing her is really no big deal (if not welcome) and therefore the stakes are low in the concept as a whole.
Further more if indeed he is or was a singer, he has all the necessary tools and skills to win the contest. However if he had never tried singing professionally then his challenge is that much more great, and if he were to win or place in the finals, his triumph more significant.
As mentioned above, unless it’s his bucket list and there are other obstacles for him, I don’t believe this is a strong enough concept for a feature.
>>So I?m just going to write?scripts that connects to the essence of my being.
Of course.? But they also need to connect to viewers.
Older actors are starving for good roles — for any roles — so it’s great that you want to write a script whose main characters are older.? But “Danny Collins” was not exactly a box-office success, and?film companies?are running businesses not charities.? The? age-old creative clash between art and commerce.? A never ending, dialectic.
Just saying.
I’m not quite sure why a judge wants him convicted. I feel that the logline is a little bit loose. Does he have to come up with the money to finish the to-do list or come up with money to find a lawyer. ?I think those questions got me scratching a little bit. If only the logline was a little bit more concise, I wouldn’t mind watching or reading this script.
“…So I?m just going to write?scripts that connects to the essence of my being regardless of if it market potential.”
“…if I wrote 20 or 10 scripts in my lifetime that connects to me and only 1 gets made, I?d have that….”
Considering your statements above posting on this website seems purely academic, so moving forward all I can do is hope you find your writing gratifying.
To ?make his dying wife happy an ill-tempered has-been rock star enters a singing contest, which reignites his passion for performing. ?He must survive the competition and a judge determined to get him out to ?……
I hope this helps.