Penpusher
Posted: 2016-04-15T10:40:10+10:00 In:

Davis Scott, a quirky southern photographer, and her band of off the wall thirty something friends struggle to survive unwanted dick pics, getting spat on during a date, and ridiculous pick up lines in order to find love in the jungles of Los Angeles.

Davis Scott, a quirky southern photographer, and her band of off the wall thirty something friends struggle to survive unwanted dick pics, getting spat on during a date, and ridiculous pick up lines in order to find love in the jungles of Los Angeles.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      >This is a logline for a sitcom pilot.

      Oh.

      Nir Shelter is certainly right that you will have to produce a pilot script to sell the series and that script needs to introduce interesting and conflicted characters & relationships & set up a dramatic problem that promise plenty of ?interesting stories week in week out. ?Consider the logline for the highly acclaimed and highly rated series, “Breaking Bad”:

      When a milquetoast chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he starts cooking crack to pay for his medical bills and provide for his wife after his death.

      And that’s just for the pilot episode. ?In 28 words it sets up a ?problem for the main character that promised plenty of complications and conflicts in ensuing episodes. ?And delivered for 62 episodes.

      I think your logline has one essential ingredient that promises plenty of comedy– the social milieu of contemporary L.A. ? But consider the real possibility that you are not the only writer developing a comedy series that promises plenty of comedy about 20/30-something women ?pursuing love in a modern urban social environment. Like L.A. ?What is there about your concept as evidenced in the logline ?for a pilot script that makes it stand out from all the rest?

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    2. Singularity

      Loglines for TV will often describe the plot of the pilot.
      It’s the pilot that will sell the show, as it will indicate the type of characters and narratives in the show and how they will continue to generate stories week in week out. In addition pilot’s will also demonstrate? the style and tone of the drama or comedy of a show.
      Even so called “premise pilots” will do the same. A premise pilot is a pilot that sets up a premise which enables the rest of the show to play out of.

      Point is you need to have great characters that exist in perpetual conflict with each other as well as a strong plot for a pilot, and your logline needs to describe all of that.

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    3. Singularity

      The logline suggests a situation for a contemporary?story about a modern woman looking for love?in the social?milieu of Los Angeles.??? Now?the logline?needs a plot because that is what loglines are about.

      Jane Austen’s novels are about? women looking for love in milieu of the British?landed gentry at the turn of the 18th century.? That by itself does not make them classic love stories continually being adapted?to the screen.? (Although her stories are enriched by? acute observations of that milieu.)? What makes them irresistible movie material?are the plots she frames within that social??milieu.

      So what is the plot that arises out of this situation, the social milieu of L.A.?? That is, as a result of looking for love, ?what happens (the inciting incident) that causes the woman? to pursue a specific objective goal, a particular love interest?? Who/what opposes/deflects/stands in the way of making that relationship thrive?

      For some guidelines on composing a logline with the necessary plot elements, ?check out ?the “Training” menu option at the top of the page.

      P.S.? Loglines don’t need to and in almost all cases should never?name?the protagonist.?Rather a logline should? define the character, usually in terms of a flaw related to the character’s objective goal, that is a defect or weakness that she will have to realize and overcome in order to achieve her objective goal of hooking up with the right guy.?

      Again take a cue from Jane Austen.? There are many obstacles, complications, rivals for Elizabeth?Bennett and Mr.? Darcy to overcome on the way to the altar, ?but the most critical and persistent ones are their character flaws:? pride and prejudice.

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