Detective kiron pollard hires these five ex criminals whom he thinks are reformed to be part of his team to catch the criminals
Skandha SreeramLogliner
Detective Kiron Pollard picks a team of 5 individuals to fight the latest crime menace plaguing the Brisbane city. The team consists of former criminals.
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Firstly, I think you could condense this into one sentence. Can u make the crime epidemic a little more specific as an inciting incident? Then, what tone are you going for? Humour? If so, possibly ‘but disaster ensues when he discovers that they are ex- criminals’ etc. at the moment, there is no idea of the flaw of the main protagonist and no idea of the progression of the main story
Firstly, you can structure the logline better. Don’t use character names, keep it simple. Just using your own words:
A detective and a team of five reformed criminals struggle to stop the latest menace plaguing Brisbane city.
But, I’m not sure who your protagonist is, or what the story is about. It seems like an interesting situation but why do we care about this detective and why this situation?
You’re missing the stakes as well, what is the latest crime menace? Get more specific. A story about a serial rapist is vastly different than one about a pharmacy theft string. What happens if these five criminals fail?
Why does this detective need these criminals?
“After failing to catch a serial killer, a detective hires a group of reformed criminals to hunt down and stop him before he kills again.”
That’s a very basic idea, but you get the catalyst… the reason for the story, you get why he hired them, how they are doing it, the stakes if they fail (serial killer keeps killing)
Thanks for commenting guys. It was very helpful. Could you also comment on my latest logline that I have posted today