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1yzzy75Logliner
Posted: October 5, 20172017-10-05T10:29:35+10:00 2017-10-05T10:29:35+10:00In: Noir

Displaced far from her mountain home, a lonely waitress must learn to trust someone as she prepares to flee her increasingly abusive lover.

Displaced far from her mountain home, a lonely waitress must learn to trust someone as she prepares to flee her increasingly abusive lover.
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    1. dpg Singularity
      2017-10-05T11:41:17+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2017 at 11:41 am

      It seems to me this logline places the cart before the horse in terms of the woman’s objective goal.? Her urgent objective goal is to flee her abusive lover.? Not prepare to flee. , Not plan to flee. Not decide to flee. Not wait until she finds someone she can trust to rescue her and then flee.

      He objective goal is to flee her abusive lover.? And that is a good basis for a compelling story.

      If in the course of fleeing or after fleeing, she finds someone whom she can trust to treat her right– that’s a bonus. But, again,? it’s not an objective goal.? “Learning to trust” refers to her subjective need.

      In the script proper the objective goal and the subjective need are interwined and work out such that the character must resolve her subjective need in order to obtain her objective goal.? But in loglines, the focus is on achieving an objective goal,? not about resolving a subjective problem.

      To repeat, her objective goal in this situation can be nothing less, nothing other than flee her abusive lover. If she’s waiting to flee until she can find someone to trust, then she’s a weak character, someone who is dependent on others to do what she needs to do for herself.? Now, she can start out from a position of weakness and dependency, hoping to find someone whom she can trust to rescue her.? But she must grow beyond that.

      In the course of the story, if she must learn to trust someone, that someone first and foremost must be herself.

      fwiw

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