REVISED: When her beloved grandma passes away, an estranged young woman must find a way of fulfilling her grandma?s last wish while struggling to reconnect with her dysfunctional family at the funeral.
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REVISED: When her beloved grandma passes away, an estranged young woman must find a way of fulfilling her grandma?s last wish while struggling to reconnect with her dysfunctional family at the funeral.
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You have to be more specific. What is the catching up about? Why is it important? That’s the films big action? Just catching up? Don’t be vague about what she must do in an entire film!
Create characters. Who died? It must be important to the protagonist. Also, the protagonist herself; “estranged young woman doesn’t reveal character.
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If she’s an estranged family member surely it’s really obvious she’ll have a lot of catching up to do…
Why does it matter that the deceased is an unpopular member of the family? To me, that suggests that not everyone in the family would actually turn up. If it was a popular member it would easily explain why her whole family is there and also goes some way to explain why she herself decided to go (the deceased was her favourite uncle or beloved grandma).
When her beloved grandma passes away, an estranged young woman struggles to reconnect with her family at the funeral.
Is this a short? Or a feature? If it’s a feature I’d worry that there wasn’t enough to fill 90-120mins. As a short though it could work really well.
I think the above comments are on the same line of thought as me.?the logline?seems quite vague at the moment, I’d?try and show what makes the?story unique, what is unique about the situation/story? Hopefully it is something that?includes an element of dramatic irony.
I also think you could remove either “struggles to reconnect with her family” or “has a lot of catching up to do with her family” to make it more concise. Perhaps choose which of those is the bigger factor in your story, they’re fairly similar.
Sounds too much like?Death at a Funeral ?(2007). ?Make sure it’s not.
The good news is, I have known a couple of somewhat dysfunctional families where funerals are basically family reunions. It is the only time they can seem to put aside their differences and get along for a couple of days.
As a result, I think some people could relate to the situation.
The bad news is, it seems to be missing that ‘one extra thing’ because catching up with family is a very normal activity if you haven’t seen them in a while.
This is a good set-up but I think it needs a hook in order to grab the reader.
So family…
Best to avoid repetition and use details that build on one another in a concept.
Perhaps she struggles to connect with a particular family member instead of the whole family? Describe who died instead of a generic family member. Who specifically does she need to catch up with? Brother, sister, twin, etc…