Logliner
Posted: 2019-11-07T05:59:53+10:00 In:

Explorers: (1 HR) After Earth gets wiped out by a plague, lone survivors are living in a skyscraper. ?On the bottom floor, a thief must lead a team to stop a mass execution and along the way is caught up in a conspiracy that could cost him and everyone around him their lives

–

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    5 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      A logline for a story like this can be a little tough, because, when you are creating a brand new world/setting there is a lot of information the reader needs to know to understand the setting.

      Here is an attempt that focuses more on the lead character and their goal:

      —–

      “When his sister’s to be executed, a thief must arise from the bottom floor of the skyscraper, which is the last refuge of humanity after a devastating plague, and reach the top floor in order save his sibling.”

      • 0
    2. Singularity

      Executed by whom?? Who is the antagonist?? And for what reason?? What is the motive?? Why would anyone want to commit a mass executing in a world where almost all the population has already been “executed” by the plague?

      • 0
    3. Logliner

      Thank you Richiev, But he never leaves the bottom floor in the pilot, but I will work on it in this manner

      • 0
    4. Singularity

      Pilot?? So this is the setup for a series?

      • 0
    5. Samurai

      Hi Chris,

      I’ll give this a shot…

      Anything where the world is stake – well, the stakes are just innate so you probably don’t need to push too hard there.

      In a post-plague world, lone survivors must stop a mass execution, but are caught up in a world-threatening conspiracy.

      I’m playing around here.

      I thought I’d lead with the lone survivors – the thief is one of them, right? As are the team?

      Not sure what’s happening with the mass execution but that seems to be the goal.

      Perhaps make the goal positive? “must save innocent people from a mass execution”.
      or even “a thief must stop a mass execution of survivors”?

      In a post-plague world, a thief must stop a mass execution of survivors, but is caught up in a world-threatening conspiracy.

      Hmm… having him as a thief suggests a potential character arc of bad to good – which is good. He transforms. People love characters who change.

      I dunno. That’s all I could do with what I’ve got.

      Not sure where the conflict is.

      INTENTION: stop a mass execution.

      OBSTACLE: A world-threatening conspiracy??

      We need to get a bit more detailed and specific with what’s standing in their way.

      But yeah- sounds cool.

      Good luck!

      • 0