Finding a dazzling world outside the enclosed home of the feared and hated pooka-people, a young pooka learns to cooperate with other species and takes it upon himself to defeat the oppressive leader of his own people and unite the world.

I guess “finding a dazzling world” is more of an opportunity (can’t it be that though? Some teachers even call the Inciting Incident the Opportunity).

I do, however, agree that the opportunity in itself doesn’t Force him to act. He ignores it at first due to fear of what’s unknown, but when his life in the mountain (where he doesn’t fit in; doesn’t get the crude sense of humour of the pookas, doesn’t have the physical build to be good at any of their tasks etc.) gets worse and the teasing of him goes to new extremes, he decides it’s worth the risk to leave. But I would say that is more the Break into two than the Inciting incident. Would you say that part should be included in the logline?

The issue I had when I wrote the first draft of Pooka was that he doesn’t find out until midpoint that the leader of his own kind, who has been a kind of mentor to him, is actually the bad guy, so up until then the goal is rather the “uniting the people” and “gaining the respect of those who hate and fear him”. The “Defeat the leader”-goal is however, what he must do to be able to do the two other things.

(I have a synopsis written in Swedish. I’ll see if I have time to translate it before Sunday, so you can see the structure and story more clearly)

Haha a pooka is a mytholoical creature from Irish folklore, not something I’ve made up 😛