Samurai
Posted: 2019-12-19T00:59:08+10:00 In:

(First revision) When townsfolk reject an attention-craving man by magically transforming him into a ghost, he must seek the help of other rejected ghosts in order to find a way to break the curse before it becomes permanent.

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    5 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Scott:

      Suggestion: go Kafkaesque with your premise. In Franz Kafka’s “The Trial”, Joseph K. is arrested and put on a trial.? But he doesn’t why, what he is accused of doing, what he is supposed to be guilty.? And no one will tell him even as he’s found guilty and sentenced to death.

      So have a modern day Joseph K.? He’s popular,? lots of friends on Facebook, followers on Twitter, etc.? Maybe he’s even a celebrity, a social influencer on the internet.? Whatever.

      Then the inciting incident:? he wakes up one day to find he has been ghosted.? By the whole world.? No one will respond to him on social media or email; no one reads his Twitters or “likes” anything he posts on Facebook or on Instagram.? No one emails him or responds to emails; no one calls or return his calls.? He doesn’t know why, what he has done wrong, and no one will tell him.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      Scott:

      >>at least let me ask why you think the premise doesn?t work? Not even in a fantasy?

      Viewers will suspend disbelief for factual fabulism, for fantasy story worlds that are untethered from how things are in the real world.? But they will never suspend disbelief for emotional fabulism, for motivations and feelings that are untethered from how people feel and are motivated to act in the real world.

      I have no problem believing that the protagonist in your premise covets attention.? That’s an all too human motivation.? But I am unable to suspend disbelief that the response of the ruling elite is to imprison him in some kind of ghost costume.? All. They.? Have. To. Do. Is. Ignore. Him.? For a narcissist, to be ignored is a living hell.? He becomes a ghost simply being ignored.

      Furthermore, there is nothing in the logline, nor have you offered any reason in the discussion thread why I should sympathize with him.? He’s done nothing in the reel world of the story to earn the attention he craves.? Nor to earn my attention as a movie viewer in the real world.

      Again, my 2.5 cents worth.

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    3. Singularity

      The ghosting and turn into a ghost parallel is nice, but the premise doesn’t work.

      Perhaps phrase it differently and place it in a world that’s closer to ours. For example: After all his followers ghost him, a Youtube celebrity befriends another social-media reject to…

      Lastly, the goal is unclear. Now that he’s found an ally ghost, what are they going to do about their predicament?

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    4. Mentor

      Does ?reject? mean kill? Otherwise why does he become a ghost.

      You could have two stories here that run parallel. What if, a ghost from old school days is connected to a modern day case that mirrors their own?

      Isn?t being a ghost being dead and isn?t that permanent? I feel if you made out your character joined a cult that dealt in spirituality and during a transcendent ritual he wanted out you could have an thriller inside the mind as they fought back against death

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    5. Singularity

      Two points:

      1] If the premise is to work, I suggest the problematic world of the story has to be systemic, universal.? As in “In a dystopic future where individual expresson is forbidden…”

      2] My reaction (and value system) could be a wacky, weird minority opinion, but I? fail to apprehend how craving attention, coveting celebrity is a worthwhile objective goal as an end in itself.? Yeah, we all want it — but that doesn’t make it virtuous.

      Consider another universal object of desire: $,$$$,$$$.? Except for Buddhist monks and Catholic priests and nuns (a small subset of humanity) most people want a lot more money than they have.? Many want more of it than they need. could possibly spend in their lifetime.

      But I can’t think of one movie that celebrates, that portrays as virtuous the pursuit of money for its own sake.? Can you?? In drama the pursuit of filthy lucre for its own sake is corrupting, selling one’s soul to the god of mammon.? It is only virtuous if it becomes a means to a worthwhile end.

      Ditto with the pursuit of attention, celebrity for its own sake.

      So why will people want to root for the protagonist?? What has he done to deserve attention?? Has he composed glorious music like Mozart?? Painted breathtaking landscapes like Van Gogh? Written novels of profound psychological depth like Melville?

      My 2.5 cents worth.

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