Penpusher
Posted: 2020-03-03T05:21:07+10:00 In:

Following the suicide of a young female veteran, a battle hardened Special Operations soldier must fight to survive his own “silent war” on the homefront.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Reiterating Trix’s point above: I wasn’t sure what the silent war would be. A psychological/emotional one? Or is he fighting for some kind of recognition from the force? Both would be interesting.

      I also wondered (like dpg) about his relationship to the young veteran. Was he her CO? Or perhaps he met her in a support group or physical therapy group for injured vets?

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    2. Best Answer
      Samurai

      I agree with dpg… also:

      • His fight to survive appears to be a fight for his emotions, however should you also include a fight for his safety/life? ?If he’s on the front line, what physical arena does he have to also navigate at this time? ?Otherwise, he may as well get some r and r in a safe facility and that wouldn’t be as full of conflict.
      • What exactly is his silent war? ?Is it depression? ?Suicidal tendencies? ?Grief?
      • Maybe telling us a bit more about his story will allow others to offer more pertinent suggestions. ?E.g. I immediately saw him and her on a specific mission, when she was killed and he has to both battle his grief, complete the mission, and get home. ?This probably clouded my thoughts but may be way off the mark.
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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      A topical subject.

      I suggest the logline would be more effective it if establishes a strong cause and effect between her death and his own suicidal ideation.? Specifically, what is? special about the relationship between the two vets, the emotional connection, that causes her suicide to trigger his ideation,? that pushes him to the edge of the abyss himself.

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