A Week
CraigDGriffithsUberwriter
For 10 years this man has been having accurate visions of events seven days into the future. Last night he saw his own murder at the hands of a woman he doesn't know.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
The hook about this is a man seeing his own murderer so I think perhaps best to start with that as an inciting incident. The first sentence in this logline feels redundant because the “…I see the future…, …I see dead people…, …I see murders…” super natural element is well established as a trope in film and TV. Also the exact nature of the mechanism by which the man sees the future is unrelated to the plot at hand of him stopping the killer.
Here is my try:
After a clairvoyant is given a vision of his own murder he has a week to find and stop the killer.
Better to add in some character descriptions for the antagonist and MC but none are in the current draft of the logline and as the above example is very lean there is plenty of room to add words.
Hope this helps.
The hook about this is a man seeing his own murderer so I think perhaps best to start with that as an inciting incident. The first sentence in this logline feels redundant because the “…I see the future…, …I see dead people…, …I see murders…” super natural element is well established as a trope in film and TV. Also the exact nature of the mechanism by which the man sees the future is unrelated to the plot at hand of him stopping the killer.
Here is my try:
After a clairvoyant is given a vision of his own murder he has a week to find and stop the killer.
Better to add in some character descriptions for the antagonist and MC but none are in the current draft of the logline and as the above example is very lean there is plenty of room to add words.
Hope this helps.
Seems to be a similar existential dilemma as faced the protagonist in the “Minority Report” except, of course, it is not the protagonist who has the pre-vision.
What has the protagonist been doing for 10 years about his pre-visions?
Now, that his pre-vision is all about him, what must he do differently?
Seems to be a similar existential dilemma as faced the protagonist in the “Minority Report” except, of course, it is not the protagonist who has the pre-vision.
What has the protagonist been doing for 10 years about his pre-visions?
Now, that his pre-vision is all about him, what must he do differently?
The concept I had. Was that he had been having these since he was a child. He was never able to alter the event. However, he was able to manipulate everything else to take advantage of the event he saw. Lets say a car accident, so he takes out income protection insurance.
He knows this is coming, what can he do? Minority report… dam. Didn’t even cross my mind. Can’t have the character run. Tom does some great running.
The concept I had. Was that he had been having these since he was a child. He was never able to alter the event. However, he was able to manipulate everything else to take advantage of the event he saw. Lets say a car accident, so he takes out income protection insurance.
He knows this is coming, what can he do? Minority report… dam. Didn’t even cross my mind. Can’t have the character run. Tom does some great running.
Nir,
I was trying to avoid the question, “Why not Just get on a plane and fly to the Arctic?”. Hence underlining the point of accurate. Perhaps I should find a way of getting the “unchangeable” nature of his visions.
Nir,
I was trying to avoid the question, “Why not Just get on a plane and fly to the Arctic?”. Hence underlining the point of accurate. Perhaps I should find a way of getting the “unchangeable” nature of his visions.
Reminds me of the question asked in bootstrap-yourself-to-a-better-life seminars: if you KNEW with an absolute certainly the day of your death (10 years from today, 30 days, one week) , how would you live your life differently than you are right now?
Which is to suggest that if he believes he can’t prevent what he has pre-visioned, then the dramatic question would seem to be: how best to live the last 604,800 seconds of his life?
I think it’s an interesting premise to explore and if you decide to explore it I hope you won’t cheat on the premise: no last second reprieve, no deus ex machina. He’s absolutely will die at the end of the movie.
And if he tries to escape his destiny, like Oedipus, the harder he tries to make it not happen, the more he makes it certain and inevitable that it will happen.
Reminds me of the question asked in bootstrap-yourself-to-a-better-life seminars: if you KNEW with an absolute certainly the day of your death (10 years from today, 30 days, one week) , how would you live your life differently than you are right now?
Which is to suggest that if he believes he can’t prevent what he has pre-visioned, then the dramatic question would seem to be: how best to live the last 604,800 seconds of his life?
I think it’s an interesting premise to explore and if you decide to explore it I hope you won’t cheat on the premise: no last second reprieve, no deus ex machina. He’s absolutely will die at the end of the movie.
And if he tries to escape his destiny, like Oedipus, the harder he tries to make it not happen, the more he makes it certain and inevitable that it will happen.
The logline is too long as it stands. Shorten it and only, ONLY keep the essential elements. Maybe he has been having these dreams for 10 years but we don’t need that in the logline. If it is essential then it needs to be changed. The main point here is that he has had a dream about his own death. Let’s stick with that. It would be more interesting if he DID know the hands in the dream. ” A man has a dream about his own death and in it he recognize his murderer”
The logline is too long as it stands. Shorten it and only, ONLY keep the essential elements. Maybe he has been having these dreams for 10 years but we don’t need that in the logline. If it is essential then it needs to be changed. The main point here is that he has had a dream about his own death. Let’s stick with that. It would be more interesting if he DID know the hands in the dream. ” A man has a dream about his own death and in it he recognize his murderer”
I never shy away from killing off characters. It is actually harder to find survivors in the things I write.
I never shy away from killing off characters. It is actually harder to find survivors in the things I write.
The story still starts from the point of him receiving the vision of his own death anything before that is backstory and opening image. How much screen time you want to spend on the events prior to the vision is up to you but normally no more than 10-15 pages. This means that they are not necessary (or could be done without in the log line).
If his death is now a certainty for him, the question is what is the dramatic dilemma? By this I mean what is he going to do and why is it so hard for him to do?
What is the MC’s choice to make between the lesser of two evils in order to achieve his goal?
Further more what is his goal? What action that he takes will constitute most of act 2?
The story still starts from the point of him receiving the vision of his own death anything before that is backstory and opening image. How much screen time you want to spend on the events prior to the vision is up to you but normally no more than 10-15 pages. This means that they are not necessary (or could be done without in the log line).
If his death is now a certainty for him, the question is what is the dramatic dilemma? By this I mean what is he going to do and why is it so hard for him to do?
What is the MC’s choice to make between the lesser of two evils in order to achieve his goal?
Further more what is his goal? What action that he takes will constitute most of act 2?
>> prior to the vision is up to you but normally no more than 10-15 pages
In “The Minority Report”, the pre-cog vision that the protagonist will commit a crime occurs about 1/4 of the way through the story (which maps to page 30 standard 120 page length measurement). IOW: it kicks off the 2nd Act. The first Act establishes the thematic issues on which the accuracy of the pre-cog’s vision about the protagonist pivots.
>> prior to the vision is up to you but normally no more than 10-15 pages
In “The Minority Report”, the pre-cog vision that the protagonist will commit a crime occurs about 1/4 of the way through the story (which maps to page 30 standard 120 page length measurement). IOW: it kicks off the 2nd Act. The first Act establishes the thematic issues on which the accuracy of the pre-cog’s vision about the protagonist pivots.
Great advice all around. The questions posed by this storyline are great. Even if Minority Report had the main character running, why does that mean you shouldn’t? I think that since his visions are an unchangeable fate then you need to put that in your logline. But if all he does is try to live his life to the fullest before the final vision is realized, it can be rather dull?unless the genre is more drama than thriller. Does he strive to resolve some conflict in his life before it?s too late? If it?s a thriller then I think he?d run even if he couldn’t get away?or could he?
Great advice all around. The questions posed by this storyline are great. Even if Minority Report had the main character running, why does that mean you shouldn’t? I think that since his visions are an unchangeable fate then you need to put that in your logline. But if all he does is try to live his life to the fullest before the final vision is realized, it can be rather dull?unless the genre is more drama than thriller. Does he strive to resolve some conflict in his life before it?s too late? If it?s a thriller then I think he?d run even if he couldn’t get away?or could he?
Haven’t watched Minority Report in years but from memory the vision was the inciting incident an event that forced the MC to take action (and run…) sparking off act 2.
But traditionally act 1 finishes when the MC knows or thinks they know what the solution to the problem is page 25-30ish. With the inciting incident occurring between pages 15 and 25. Giving back story, opening image and thematic declarations pages 1 to 15 on average.
None of this is set in stone of course and there are many examples of films that deviated form this. But best to try and stick to a structure that is known to work especially early on in ones career.
Point I’m making is there is less room in a logline for backstory and opening image than inciting incident, goal and other mission critical info for the logline to work well.
Haven’t watched Minority Report in years but from memory the vision was the inciting incident an event that forced the MC to take action (and run…) sparking off act 2.
But traditionally act 1 finishes when the MC knows or thinks they know what the solution to the problem is page 25-30ish. With the inciting incident occurring between pages 15 and 25. Giving back story, opening image and thematic declarations pages 1 to 15 on average.
None of this is set in stone of course and there are many examples of films that deviated form this. But best to try and stick to a structure that is known to work especially early on in ones career.
Point I’m making is there is less room in a logline for backstory and opening image than inciting incident, goal and other mission critical info for the logline to work well.
>>But traditionally act 1 finishes when the MC knows or thinks they know what the solution to the problem is page 25-30ish
Hmm. I have a minority opinion on that point. Whatever.
Be that as it may, I think you have a viable and potentially compelling story, CraigDGriffiths, and I Iook forward to viewing it at my local silver screen or on my streaming video service. Best wishes.
>>But traditionally act 1 finishes when the MC knows or thinks they know what the solution to the problem is page 25-30ish
Hmm. I have a minority opinion on that point. Whatever.
Be that as it may, I think you have a viable and potentially compelling story, CraigDGriffiths, and I Iook forward to viewing it at my local silver screen or on my streaming video service. Best wishes.