Formerly a gang member, when a gunfight paralyzes an aspiring cook’s hands, she resorts to preparing scalding-hot entrees with her feet to accomplish her dream of becoming a gourmet chef.
EethanSamurai
Formerly a gang member, when a gunfight paralyzes an aspiring cook’s hands, she resorts to preparing scalding-hot entrees with her feet to accomplish her dream of becoming a gourmet chef.
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Hmm. ?How ?plausible is it to be paralyzed in one’s hands after an injury — but not the feet? Have you studied up on the levels of paralysis as a result of spinal cord injuries (C1-C8, T1-T12, S1-S5)? Is this paralysis premise really medically possible?
I don’t believe the critic knew a rat cooked his food. But that’s beside the point,?Ratatouille?is supposed to be a bit unrealistic. That doesn’t seem to be what this story is proposing, but if it is then that’s fine.
If, as it seems to be, the story is supposed to be set in the real world, supposed to be realistic, then realistically(as far as I know) there is no place where people cook with their feet and serve others. Now, one way it might work is if it became viral, like “Oh my gosh, look, she cooks with her feet in this restaurant!” But the logline does not indicate that.
My Left Foot meets Ratatouille?
Sounds like a?strange?plot device to use as a basis for drama, and in the context of the premise the backstory seems unrelated if not?redundant. I get that you’re probably trying to setup the stakes – if she fails in cooking she may fall back into a life of crime, but it seems to lack cohesion. In other words if she fails in cooking she can try her? foot at another profession one that would likely lend itself better to her particular condition. She could learn how to type with her feet, run walk-on bus tour guides or even learn to tap dance, so not does cooking only lack logic it also isn’t that big a deal really.
Then again I may be missing something, either way it isn’t coming through in the logline.
Why is the fact that she was a former gang member linked to her goal? If it’s not– cut it.
To me the wording is very confusing. Start with the aspiring cook because I thought her and the gang member were two different people at first and that the gang member was the protagonist.
Try:?When an aspiring chef is?paralyzed from the waist up, she learns to prepare meals with her feet to accomplish her dream of being a chef in a top?restaurant.??
Backstory is good, but can be awkward.
Hands paralysed by a shooting, this former gang member must learn to cook using her feet to forfil her dream of becoming a chef.
I hope this helps
“Formerly a gang member, when a gunfight paralyzes an aspiring cook?s hands, she resorts to preparing scalding-hot entrees with her feet to accomplish her dream of becoming a gourmet chef.”
When? a former gang member is paralyzed in a gunfight, she must resort to using her feet to prepare food in order to achieve her dream of becoming a gourmet chef.?(~31 words)
So she’s paralyzed from the waist up? Besides that, who would want to eat food someone prepared with their feet? Nowadays, most people would never think of drinking wine that is made by mashing grapes with feet; even though people used to.