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NiiLogliner
Posted: October 6, 20152015-10-06T21:07:11+10:00 2015-10-06T21:07:11+10:00In: Drama

Four friends, who are all about to go through some life changing experiences. The Brotherhood is about to become The Fatherhood. And it isn’t going to be easy

Four friends, who are all about to go through some life changing experiences. The Brotherhood is about to become The Fatherhood. And it isn’t going to be easy
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Nii Logliner
      2015-10-12T06:08:48+10:00Added an answer on October 12, 2015 at 6:08 am

      I’ve had a stab at a couple of revisions – would love to get your feedback…

      Charles?needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe?from having their baby, whilst Andrew?needs to get Rachael?pregnant. And Jason?has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

      -OR-

      Four friends navigate the intricacies of their relationships as one struggles with fertility and another is about to become a father through a one night stand. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood, but its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

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    2. Nii Logliner
      2015-10-07T20:46:42+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      Thank you so much for your input – its been very helpful 🙂
      Now I’m off to revise!!!

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2015-10-07T10:47:04+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2015 at 10:47 am

      This describes a situation not a plot.

      The next draft of the logline neds to answer the following:
      Who needs to achieve what and why?

      Hope this helps.

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    4. steveylang Samurai
      2015-10-07T02:22:22+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2015 at 2:22 am

      This subject is generally interesting, but not nearly descriptive enough for a logline, as you’ve described a general life experience.

      For example, Wild Hogs is about 4 friends who have a middle-age crisis, well that’s pretty ordinary. But the hook is that they all buy Harleys and go on a road trip, and get into it with a real biker gang. Regardless of how the movie turned out, I thought that was a great concept.

      Yours does not have to be so high concept, but just telling us fatherhood is not easy is self-evident. You have to give us more.

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