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CamillaBeskow
Posted: November 17, 20132013-11-17T22:49:04+10:00 2013-11-17T22:49:04+10:00In: Public

Hating the world and basically everyone in it, the cynical college-student Charlie and her four somewhat peculiar classmates turn their classroom into a lair and start a business to, with varying results, alter what sucks about the world. (sit-com)

Untitled SIT-COM

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    2 Reviews

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    1. Karel Segers Logliner
      2013-11-18T13:29:47+10:00Added an answer on November 18, 2013 at 1:29 pm

      It’s good that you qualify this as a sitcom, as there won’t be any ‘clear goal’ for the series.

      I find it excruciatingly difficult to come up with loglines for sitcoms, even existing ones. Didn’t Jerry Seinfeld say that SEINFELD is a show ‘about nothing’? Even he resorted to a cop-out!

      This is not a bad attempt, I must say.

      Because you’ve said “hating the world…”, you may drop “cynical” as it covers pretty much the same flaw.

      “Somewhat peculiar” is a good description for the blurb in your marketing but for development purposes it doesn’t really contribute much as in pretty much every sitcom the characters are supposed to be that…

      “with varying results” suggests that the results are mostly unwanted but perhaps you can find a more strongly comedic way of putting it?

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    2. CamillaBeskow
      2013-11-21T01:45:36+10:00Added an answer on November 21, 2013 at 1:45 am

      Thank you Karel!

      Yes, I did have to really think it through. It being a sitcom I had no idea how to phrase it, since it, like you said, has no clear goal except for the very broad “changing the world”-one.

      I agree that adding the word Cynical might be unnecessary, I have a tendency to overuse adjectives 😛 Maybe that’s the same issue I have with “somewhat peculiar”, but I feel like I want some sort of description of the characters, so they don’t seem dull?

      I’ll try to think of a more comedic way of phrasing the “with varying results”-part 🙂

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