Upon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine ?Mankind? and ?Humanity? on a recreated Earth.
RheaSolarisLogliner
Upon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine ?Mankind? and ?Humanity? on a recreated Earth.
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I agree with the others.? I cannot find the protagonist, and even if Mother was one, it’s a flimsy one.? To conquer and destroy Earth to remake it in her own idealized version is one thing, but I don’t see conflict.? What is terrible about Mother trying to destroy Earth and why is she doing it?? For maximum efficiency?? Evolution of one’s beings?? Improvement of cognitive knowledge and harmony?
Something is missing and it sounds like a grand scope idea, not a well defined one.
It sounds great but I can not find the protagonist of your story, so it is empty in that sense.
Also… Whose is mother? The mother is a very important character to be in the story??
How is the story being told? Through whose eyes? Where is the conflict. All stories involve conflict. A person or group trying to achieve and being faced with obstacles or decisions.
This (will sound cruel) is a shopping list of success.
What is the challenge to your character? How will there be a journey that audience shall connect to? and Who is the main character?
A story must be represented from a viewpoint of a character, no matter the number of protagonists existing in the story.
Your logline states a situation which may sound challenging or compelling. But it renders no where as there is no viewpoint/character’s journey.
Redefine the character and main conflict/challenge to your logline. It will attract better reviews from singularities and mentors.
Someone here is going to tell me where I should be going, taking this story with me.