I thought about replacing the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ play with a self-written play. “When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role and have his first kiss ever with his crush before she returns to her home country.”
savinh0Samurai
I thought about replacing the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ play with a self-written play. “When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role and have his first kiss ever with his crush before she returns to her home country.”
Share
I take it she is in the play. If yes, state that.
A socially awkward student joins the university play to win the lead role to get close to the leading woman who he is obsessed with.
“When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role alongside his crush and have his first kiss ever before she returns to her home country.”
Something like that?
Your logline is very good in that it follows the rules
When he meets an exchange student- Major event
a socially awkward nerd – Hero
Tries to win the lead role in the university play in order to have his first kiss with her before she goes away – Main Action
But the best way to find the logline for your use is one that makes you clear on what is in the hero’s way.
I would say “paralyzing stage fright” or something of the sort so the audience understand the stakes and what the lead must overcome.
The inciting incident is mundane, best you describe it as a significant event instead.
After falling in love at first sight, a…
The MC description doesn’t give him an obstacel that directly relates to the obstacle he will face – I know many actors who are socially awkward, yet on stage they shine.
How about you make him an introvert.
Here is my try:
After falling in love at first sight with an exchange drama student, an introvert auditions for the part of Romeo so he can kiss his Juliet in the school play before she moves back to her home country.
” I know many actors who are socially awkward, yet on stage they shine.How about you make him an introvert.”
Someone being an introvert doesn’t necessarily mean they have stage fright. I suggest using stage fright or anxiety. ?Stage fright is a trait which directly hinders his ability to complete his goal, but I agree social awkwardness isn’t the best description.?