Logliner
Posted: 2017-03-02T03:39:02+10:00 In:

In 1990 a hapless hair metal band must make their way to Los Angeles for their chance at rock n roll stardom but a weaselly label exec and hot new music fads stand in their way.

In 1990 a hapless hair metal band must make their way to Los Angeles for their chance at rock n roll stardom but a weaselly label exec and hot new music fads stand in their way.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      This version shares the same problems as the more recent one:

      This is too vague.
      You need to describe specifically what the inciting incident is;
      What does ??new music fads stand in their way?? mean? What is the specific event in which they do that?

      You also need to describe specifically what the goal is:
      What does ??rock and roll stardom?.? mean in practical terms? What single objective do they need to achieve?

      Lastly, why? What is at stake if they fail?

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    2. Uberwriter

      I would just mention 90s or early 90s, unless the specific year matters. If your story has a leader or protagonist, I would have the logline center on his/her leadership qualities dependent on the success of the band’s mission. Also, reconsider the hot new music part as well. How can that be an antagonistic element?

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