Penpusher
Posted: 2018-02-13T15:01:11+10:00 In:

In A dystopian society where everyone is born with only one wish, that is regulated by the government, One girl discovers that she has many more than one wish, and slowly, the government catches on…

In A dystopian society where everyone is born with only one wish, that is regulated by the government, One girl discovers that she has many more than one wish, and slowly, the government catches on…
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    5 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Because the Inciting Incident is “her discovering she has more than one wish” I’d say..

      After discovering she has more than the singular–government regulated–wish people are born with, a girl must ______________

      that’s where the “dramatic need” of your protagonist lies
      what MUST she do?

      PS. I love your dystopian premise!
      but if it is made clear in the logline (something along the lines) that she must unearth a government secret, then maybe the word “dystopian” need not to be included..

      All the best slappymctaco!!

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    2. Singularity

      Since she has more than one wish, she could just wish that her society not by dystopian and the government does not catch on that she has more than one wish.

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    3. Singularity

      Or she could wish that everyone would have more than one wish.? And then wish the end of the dystopia.

      Or….??The logline sets up a? situation that is wide open to any number of objective goals for the girl to pursue, but doesn’t follow through and narrow down to one objective goal that will instantiate the singular spine, the through line for the film.? What is that one objective goal?

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    4. Uberwriter

      I score this an A for originality. A much lower grade for preparing to execute the setup, as others have already combed through.

      I for one am totally tired of the Antagonistic government scenario. It seems to have been done to death.

      Now, if the antagonist was also someone with unlimited wishes, and a war of wishes broke out where they unwish each other… that could be somewhat interesting.

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    5. Singularity

      Instead of a wish, maybe it is a society that you are allowed to commit one major felony in your lifetime. Sort of a self-imposed pardon or get out of jail free card. It was meant as a means of giving people a second chance?but now people are abusing it. The story would revolve around a lead character who must do two different things that would require the pardon and must choose between them.

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