Penpusher
Posted: 2019-03-13T01:29:43+10:00 In:

In a survivalist?s bomb shelter following the nuclear apocalypse, An adolescent mechanic is prematurely woken from cryogenic hibernation by a childhood friend out of desperation. Over last sixty years, he has been trying to fix the bunkers only reusable chamber in solitude due to limited rations. In order to save himself and the remaining sleeping colony, he must not only perform a seemingly impossible repair that has stumped more qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes, but cope with the inevitable isolation following his aged-friend’s death in the process.

In a survivalist?s bomb shelter following the nuclear apocalypse, An adolescent mechanic is prematurely woken from cryogenic hibernation by a childhood friend out of desperation. Over last sixty years, he has been trying to fix the bunkers only reusable chamber in solitude due to limited rations. In order to save himself and the remaining sleeping colony, he must not only perform a seemingly impossible repair that has stumped more qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes, but cope with the inevitable isolation following his aged-friend’s death in the process.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      I like the idea of this friendship in the bomb shelter situation. It’s great! But, as variable pointed out, this problem has stumped qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes… and he’s simply a teenage mechanic. I feel like this is a stretch. Can there be a reason why it has to be this kid? Or this time? Maybe there’s something that they had to wait 60 years for? Why has his friend waited til now to wake him? Give us reasons why all these elements have to happen like this and again, as variable suggested, give us more conflict and this could be great.

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    2. Uberwriter

      How can a high schooler repair that which stumped qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes?? ? ||? It paints quite a premise, and their stakes as a team are very relatable. His goal needs to be made more visual. Even if he’s a trained mechanic, what’s stopping him from fixing the chamber? Conflict equals drama. The obstacle between him and fixing that chamber is where you’ll find the story. Good luck with your writing.

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