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R.C.Penpusher
Posted: August 11, 20212021-08-11T22:53:19+10:00 2021-08-11T22:53:19+10:00In: Action

In a time when white children born to Japanese mothers were put to death, one boy survives. Across time, the boy becomes the protector of the weak.

The story is written in a graphic novel style, using as few words as possible. As is the nature of graphic novels, some scenes are vivid and striking. The child becomes nearly immortal but the shaman let him know there are consequences.

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    4 Reviews

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    1. emvshah Logliner
      2021-08-13T01:41:43+10:00Added an answer on August 13, 2021 at 1:41 am

      You logline has no definite goal or a clear story. There are numerous questions that come to mind when I read it. …”Across time, the boy becomes a protector of the weal…”, you mean to say the boy grows up to become a man? And what do you mean by weak exactly? “…white born children born to Japanese mothers…out to death…”, so he was born in some sort of captivity? And why are there so many white children being born to Japanese women in the first place? I think you first need to establish the time and space of your story to get a clear picture.

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      • R.C. Penpusher
        2021-08-14T09:01:52+10:00Replied to answer on August 14, 2021 at 9:01 am

        Thanks!

        In a time when mixed-race children were put to death at birth, one boy survives. Across time, the boy grows into a warrior and defender of the weak

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        • emvshah Logliner
          2021-08-14T15:27:20+10:00Replied to answer on August 14, 2021 at 3:27 pm

          “Across time, the boy grows into a warrior…” still sounds vague. Maybe you could give the boy a definite goal to accomplish, say avenging his siblings perhaps? Or maybe, this one boy has a younger siblings, and the authorities are out to get them. And his goal is to ensure their – most importantly his younger sibling’s – survival. But the boy realises that this is a never ending process and must put a stop to (whatever it is) once and for all.

          That’s what I am thinking. But you get my drift.

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    2. R.C. Penpusher
      2021-08-12T01:39:56+10:00Added an answer on August 12, 2021 at 1:39 am

      REVISED: In a time when mixed-race children were put to death at birth, one boy survives. Across time, the boy becomes the guardian of the weak.

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