Children of Men
dpgSingularity
In a dystopic future where humanity is sterile, a disillusioned man must escort the first pregnant woman in 18 years to a safe haven.
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I thought of it as a story of redemption.
“In a distopian future, devoid of children, a broken man finds purpose rescuing the first pregnant woman in 18 years and getting to an off-shore safe haven”
Could do with a rewrite to tighten.
His objective goal is to ?deliver the girl to the off-shore haven, ?In doing so he discovers– or rather regains — meaning and purpose to his life that fills the vacuum of his subjective need. ?BUT that is an collateral?consequence — an unintended pay off of his intentional?struggle to save the girl.
Loglines are about the primary intentional acts toward objective goals, not?secondary?unintended subjective pay offs.
Does ‘escort’ portray the danger involved in the story? She would be safe in most of the situations, but he is also saving her from exploitation.
Isn’t the delivery of the girl a thing he is doing to improve himself. He gets nothing from her saving except the improvement of self.
“Isn?t the delivery of the girl a thing he is doing to improve himself. He gets nothing from her saving except the improvement of self.”
I haven’t seen this but from what it sounds like this is the motivation. He wants to improve himself. The action , the goal described for a logline would be getting the girl to the safe haven. But, yes, as someone who hasn’t seen this ‘escort’ does not at all hint at a sense of danger that they may face.
What’s at stake is not self-improvement but something infinitely more important, ?the survival of the human race. ? He’s escorting to safety the 1st woman ?to give birth 18 years. ?He’s willing to sacrifice his own?welfare, his own life, if necessary, for the sake of the future of the humanity.
What greater and more noble cause can there be?
Good one DPG, I watched this film years ago and didn’t really like it, but it’s a great case study for loglines.?
His outer goal is a means for him to achieve his inner goal – redemption.
The stakes of the A plot are the survival of the human race, and the stakes of the B plot is his own damnation. As we often note, the point of a logline is to describe?the A plot, therefore his inner journey need only be hinted at.
My try:
In a future in which?all humanity is sterile, a disillusioned mercenary?must deliver?the first pregnant woman in 18 years to an offshore safe haven.
I changed ‘man’ to ‘mercenary’ to describe him as someone that would kill for money, which could be seen as a flaw, I also shortened the logline.
A revised take:
In a future where a plague has rendered all humanity sterile, a disillusioned drunk must deliver the first pregnant woman in 18 years to an offshore safe haven.
(28 words)
I’m inclined to include the cause of sterility. ?But I’m not inclined to use “mercenary”.? Although he’s aware it’s a risky mission, he has no weapon, doesn’t acquire one when he agrees to undertake the mission.
However, a defining character flaw is his drinking problem, so…
Interesting chat.
I got my opinion of the MC because it starts with the death of “baby Dillon” the last child born. Everyone is upset except for him. He could careless. When he confronted by someone he pretends to be upset, then just walks off. I never see him as a person who cares about the future.
He gets back his humanity when faced with the potential of birth.
Like to see more chat about this.
I agree with the description of his character. ?But the movie is not about his acquiring a reason to care, a purpose to go on living. The death of “baby Diego” ?doesn’t change anything for him. ?It’s just another day in a hopeless hell.
The inciting incident that changes his whole life occurs when his ex-wife has him kidnapped and asks him to undertake the mission.
The stakes beat, the moment that offers hope for the future, occurs in the 2nd Act when the girl reveals to him that she’s pregnant.
?Now he’s got a mission and a purpose.
Your logline nails the story but also doesn’t make a lot of sense. If everyone is sterile how does she become pregnant? Cut out the virus part and the logline will be more concise and logical, otherwise great job I love this movie!
“If everyone is sterile how does she become pregnant?”
That is the point of the movie; an anomaly in their daily life. No one else has been pregnant in years, so when this woman somehow becomes pregnant they must protect her in order to preserve the species.