In an effort to track down his estranged girlfriend and reconnect with her, a recovering alcoholic embarks on a cross-country journey that turns out to be poignant discovery into his past.
emvshahLogliner
In an effort to track down his estranged girlfriend and reconnect with her, a recovering alcoholic embarks on a cross-country journey that turns out to be poignant discovery into his past.
Share
“track down his estranged girlfriend” = goal
“recovering alcoholic” = protagonist character flaw
Now, “… poignant discovery into his past.”? Would you consider expanding …?
I think of a logline as a short story synopsis, rather than marketing. In essence, a logline contains the spoiler – marketing doesn’t.
If this were my logline, it might read:
When a recovering alcoholic [experiences an inciting incident], he must track down his estranged girlfriend [or suffer some terrible fate (insert story stakes here)], but when he learns of a poignant discovery from his past [state what that is exactly], he must [insert another story goal here], …
Of course, this is your story. What ’cause & effect’ (read: Inciting Incident) motivates our main character toward his story goal (i.e. recover lost girlfriend)? More importantly, what’s the character’s arc? Recovering alcoholic -> transforms into -> altruistic character …!
As a stereotype, alcoholics are usually selfish, self-centered, focusing only on their pain. Consider watching the film Leaving Las Vegas (1995). Slightly different premise, more a tragedy, because our main character never really learns, that love has always been with him – even in his dying (climatic) moments!
I disagree.
A logline should not contain spoilers… never give away the third act.
Tell what sets the story in motion, what the lead character wants, tell us what is standing in the lead character’s way… but never spoil how it ends. (And never tell us the ‘big reveal’ if there is one)
This is the third version of my logline. Here are the first and the second versions:
1. An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge.
2. During a cross-country journey to track his missing girlfriend Nisha, Dhondup finds himself reluctantly involved in the lives of people who all seem to have a connection to her in some way.