Penpusher
Posted: 2017-04-17T17:58:01+10:00 In:

In Holocaust death camps, teenage Jewish boy Harles Hosser search for his dream girl Ida, who is Hitler’s daughter- Harles tries to prove her that the love’s existence is?strongly between them with the help from Commandant Hoss, than the infatuation he first had when Ida had to lie to him she was a Jew.

In Holocaust death camps, teenage Jewish boy Harles Hosser search for his dream girl Ida, who is Hitler’s daughter- Harles tries to prove her that the love’s existence is?strongly between them with the help from Commandant Hoss, than the infatuation he first had when Ida had to lie to him she was a Jew.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Hi Andrew

      There are a few rules which are hard and fast in loglines. No need for names unless they give you a shortcut to something, Jesus, Sherlock Holmes etc.

      Plus avoid unneeded background or B story. The job of a logline is the main story based around the main character’s goal.

      Eg. A young Jewish boy in a nazi death camp sets out to prove his love to a German girl who once pretended to be Jewish.

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    2. Singularity

      At 55 words this is too long and cumbersome for a logline. ?Please review the guidelines under “Formula” at the top of the web page for constructing an industry acceptable logline.

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    3. Singularity

      Agreed with the above comments.

      You asked Craig what he thinks about the story, but without a clear understanding of the plot the story is hard to gauge. Therefore, the logline needs to be rewritten before it can receive any practical advice.

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