Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
GStarLogliner
Posted: March 17, 20182018-03-17T16:53:12+10:00 2018-03-17T16:53:12+10:00In: Drama

In Johannesburg in 1984, a black gay, political activist determined to rewrite the constitution of a nation, is arrested, faced with the death penalty, he must fight against a police officer with a personal vendetta and an AIDS diagnosis that only gives him a few months to live.

In Johannesburg in 1984, a black gay, political activist determined to rewrite the constitution of a nation, is arrested, faced with the death penalty, he must fight against a police officer with a personal vendetta and an AIDS diagnosis that only gives him a few months to live.
  • 0
  • 3 3 Reviews
  • 628 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    3 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2018-03-18T08:41:27+10:00Added an answer on March 18, 2018 at 8:41 am

      There are two big issues (AIDS and Aparthide) dealt with in the one concept, both are story worthy and can be used in the script but only one needs to be in the logline. I remember you posting this a while back, the latest version is an improvement but it still needs to be distilled down for a decision maker to be able to wrap their head around the story in an efficient manner. AIDS should be taken out of the logline as there’s no conflict with the disease, it’s a ticking time bomb but so is the death sentence. The personal vendetta is a negative objective and can play against the MC without a proper setup. Ultimately his fight against the regime is the biggest issue of all as it applies to millions of people fighting that makes him a true hero.

      My try:
      After a vengful police officer jails a black activist during apartheid, he must lead a movement from inside the prison to change the constitution and free South Africa before his death sentence.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Richiev Singularity
      2018-03-18T20:45:34+10:00Added an answer on March 18, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      When I think of South Africa in 1984 I think Apartheid

      If your lead character’s gay?orientation is important to the logline and you don’t want to take it out because he is fighting for gay rights, not against apartheid, then you should mention the fight for gay rights in the logline.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. dpg Singularity
      2018-03-19T01:11:18+10:00Added an answer on March 19, 2018 at 1:11 am

      Isn’t his ultimate “death sentence” — the ticking clock — his diagnosis with AIDS?

      >>>political activist determined to rewrite the constitution of a nation,

      How?? As he is incarcerated, he doesn’t seem to be in any position to do so.? To agitate for change, to struggle to overthrow the existing Apartheid order is one thing.? To have a seat at the table, to have a direct hand in rewriting the constitution for a new government is quite another.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 8,000
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,720

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.