Logliner
Posted: 2020-07-02T06:38:55+10:00 In:

In the aftermath of a school shooting, the perpetrator’s loner best friend becomes a romantically involved with a popular girl who was injured in the incident. Their relationship is put to the test when he is forced to testify at an inquest that he had foreknowledge of the tragedy.

In the aftermath of a school shooting, the perpetrator’s loner best friend becomes a romantically involved with a popular girl who was injured in the incident. Their relationship is put to the test when he is forced to testify at an inquest that he had foreknowledge of the tragedy.
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    11 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      It’s an interesting dramatic problem. But the impact of his testimony extends far beyond his relationship with a popular girl. Also at risk is the relationship with his family. And he is in serious legal trouble, too.

      And it would seem that his romantic relationship pivots on how she reacts to his confession. He can’t dictate how he wants her to feel about him; he can’t make her love him. It’s her call, her decision as to whether to continue the relationship or break it off. In other words, she is in the driver’s seat of that plot thread.

      So if you want to write a script that focuses on their relationship more than other aspect than I suggest consider writing (and loglining) if from her point of view.

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    2. Uberwriter

      In the aftermath of a school shooting. A young couples relationship and their lives are put to the test when he is forced to testify that he had knowledge prior to the tragedy perpetrated by his friend.

      I think the added colour doesn’t help. Loner best friend and popular girl. Doesn’t push the story along. Him being a loner doesn’t impact on the logline or does that she is the popular girl.

      You can take out THEIR LIVES reference. I was just thinking about their lives in their communities etc. But that may be the thing that is putting their relationship to the test.

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    3. Logliner

      Thank you. I have a problem because I’m looking to do a deep character piece for the first time. I want to explore the depth of guilt as a paralyzing force – different types of guilt affected different people in different ways. I want the loner best friend to be the POV character and to experience the guilt associated with knowing he might have prevented a massacre. The popular young girl I want to be suffering from survivors guilt. Their personal natures cause them to react to their guilt differently. The boy hides from everyone, and the girl gets lost in her work. The coroner’s inquest into the school shooting is the catalyst everyone wants to avoid since it conjures up these negative feelings for seemingly no positive end….. any ideas how a deep character piece like this can be encapsulated in a logline?

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    4. Singularity

      Michael Fine:

      I’m intrigued, but not clear on the concept. It’s a no-brainer why the kid would — or should — be racked with guilt. But why does the girl suffer suffer survivor’s guilt? Why should she?

      What is the emotional symmetry between his guilt and hers?

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    5. Samurai

      Interesting concept. Maybe he was also asked by his friend to participate, but refused because he was too scared.
      Either way, I like the story. You have something good here!

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    6. Singularity

      So he’s too “insular” to notify the police of an impending mass murder. But he’s not too “insular” to get romantically involved with a girl. And not just any girl; he, an outsider, has hookie up with an insider, one of the most popular girls in school.

      Sorry, I’m not buying that.

      I think your idea has the promise of exploring an interesting character dyad, but it seems like you’re still in the brainstorming stage. Keep brainstorming, best wishes with the story.

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