Inspired by actual events, a Chicago man from a tough Chicago neighbor joins the Armed Forces, landing on D-Day +5, surviving the savagery of the Battle of Bastogne and guarding one of the Nazi’s Luftwaffe Commander, Herman Goering at Nuremburg.
GeneSalvittiLogliner
Inspired by actual events, a Chicago man from a tough Chicago neighbor joins the Armed Forces, landing on D-Day +5, surviving the savagery of the Battle of Bastogne and guarding one of the Nazi’s Luftwaffe Commander, Herman Goering at Nuremburg.
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So it’s biopic. ?But is it a bioepic? Or just the story of a GI who survives the horrors of war by sheer luck and circumstance, through no particular heroic skill or effort of his own?
I dunno. ? ? Most of the people who could have identified with his experience, emotionally invest in his predicament — WW 2 vets — are dead. ?How does this story connect to a modern audience, most of whom have never felt the sting of battle, have no intention or need to do so??What is the story hook for a contemporary movie audience?
And the description in this logline looks like a string of pearls, a concatenation of interesting, colorful incidents. ?But a string of pearls is not the same as a plot.
You don’t need to say he is a Chicago man from a tough Chicago neighborhood because it is redundant.
just say he is from a tough Chicago neighborhood. (And we will know he is from Chicago)
You are telling us what they did, not what we can see them do if we go on the story of your film.
What’s the character’s goal?
Agreed with csantan2, the logline lacks a clear goal. It could be that he wants to survive but it’s not clear what specifically is threatening him.
Otherwise, this vaguely describes a situation, not a plot. Best to redraft this one so it specifies an inciting incident and causally connected goal.