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LopEar25Penpusher
Posted: November 7, 20172017-11-07T10:39:48+10:00 2017-11-07T10:39:48+10:00In: Drama

Is this a good tagline?

After a near death experience, guilt ridden ex convict sets out to repent to his victim’s daughter, with the help of a mysterious stranger.

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      JanCabal Logliner
      2017-11-07T11:05:05+10:00Added an answer on November 7, 2017 at 11:05 am

      From my understanding, tagline is a marketing slogan that you put on the poster (“In space, nobody can hear you scream” or something like that? for first Alien). So you mean logline?
      You got a hero (ex convict), you got the inciting incident (near death experience) and a goal (repent … I am not native english, does it mean something like feeling sorry for?).?Why is mysterious stranger helping him – and is this mention of him in a logline somehow key to the story? Why? How? If he is not important, I would cross?himout. The way story unravels in my mind is, that the guy experiences this death thing, then finds his victims daughter, apologises, she cries/screams/don’t care/ kicks him in the balls, and main hero, hopefully feeling better now,? walks away. What is the hook?

      After a guilt ridden ex convict learns about?drug addiction of his victim’s daughter, he sets out, in a disguise, to help her out in hope for his salvation. (30)

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