It?s unexpected "love at first sight" for two outgoing romantics, but despite their mutually acknowledged connection the two unrequited soul mates stand by their current plans and relationships, living the ups and downs of their separate lives, challenged by what might have been, and what, years later, just might be.

“stand by their current plans and relationships” — passive, path of least resistance, surrender to the status quo.

People don’t go to movies to watch characters like themselves. They go to watch characters who have the guts and gumption to break out of the existential prisons, to go for what they really want in life.

“challenged by what might have been, and what, years later, just might be” — backward looking. Plots are forward looking, about what characters are planning to do here and now… and tomorrow… and beyond. Not about pining away over lost dreams, but struggling for dreams to win. Not “if only I had…” thinking but “WTF: why not?”

daveb:

The premise has potential in that it’s trajectory many lovers have gone through in their lives. It’s a common human experience.

BUT: that’s the reason so many films have already been made on the premise.

SO: Your challenge is to find a hook. What is unique, fresh, original, different in your story that hasn’t been dramatized before?

Whatever it is, it should be part of the logline. Loglines are sales tools. And sales is as much or more about the sizzle than the steak.

I’m sorry, I can’t be more specific because your logline isn’t more specific about premise that covers a vast sweep of the human predicament. There are a 1,000,000+1 potential story lines.

daveb:

My motto is: “If you don’t fail at least 90% of the time, you’re not aiming high enough”. — Alan Kay”. (To date, my failure rate is 95%+ 😉

Hope to have some suggestions to post at your revised logline, when time permits.