Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Leannf411Logliner
Posted: August 30, 20162016-08-30T06:46:29+10:00 2016-08-30T06:46:29+10:00In: Fantasy

Keira, a warrior just shy of her sixteenth birthday, will have to survive the creatures of a world twisted by the DNA Wars, and hope her own mutation doesn’t degenerate further as she tries to reach the City of Lights where she will be free from persecution.

Keira, a warrior just shy of her sixteenth birthday, will have to survive the creatures of a world twisted by the DNA Wars, and hope her own mutation doesn’t degenerate further as she tries to reach the City of Lights where she will be free from persecution.
  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 828 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-08-30T07:15:15+10:00Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 7:15 am

      A few things off the bat. You don’t need names, no one uses them. DNA wars doesn’t mean anything and isn’t really part of the story, it is back story. In other words, the war will not be filmed.

      Here is what I would write.

      A young female warrior desperate to escape persecution heads for the City of Light pursuded DNA modified creatures while her own mutation degrades.

      I hope this helps.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Eethan Samurai
      2016-08-30T08:01:54+10:00Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 8:01 am

      Hi Leannf411,

      So, this teenage warrior (MC) must battle through various creatures (main course of action/antagonist) in order to reach the City of Lights where she’ll be free from persecution (goal) before she turns into one of them herself (hook)? Continue working on shortening the logline as much as possible without not saying anything at all, and cutting straight to the chase.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. [Deleted User]
      2016-08-30T22:12:59+10:00Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 10:12 pm

      Everyone has sort of touched on this but i’ll say, this is too damn long. Also, a lot of it could be easily trimmed (the wars) as it is world building which should be left for the screenplay. A logline should just focus on the protagonist and the core story. Hope this helps.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. mateekaq Penpusher
      2016-08-30T23:45:54+10:00Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      I think you have a very unique idea! Sounds like a rich conflict. I would agree with the comments above on what could help make this logline better.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,997
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,710

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.