LOGLINE FOR A ‘PSYCH-THRILLER’ In order to restore virtue following a discriminatory arrest, a gutsy but ill-fated escort-worker must withstand and negotiate her way through, the next 24 hours locked-down alongside a parasitic anti-social, who evidently knows more about her than she should.
A_R_RoadLogliner
LOGLINE FOR A ‘PSYCH-THRILLER’ In order to restore virtue following a discriminatory arrest, a gutsy but ill-fated escort-worker must withstand and negotiate her way through, the next 24 hours locked-down alongside a parasitic anti-social, who evidently knows more about her than she should.
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If the arrest was discriminatory as opposed to just, then why does she need to restore virtue? I could see having to restore reputation, but virtue isn’t why she was arrested, is it?
“gutsy but ill-fated”, what does that mean? she’s gutsy but we should know from the get go that this won’t end well for her? That’s kinda anticlimactic in advance, no?
how is withstanding or negotiating through 24 hours with this person going to restore her virtue?
is it just a big coincidence that the anti-social person knows a lot about her? or did they arrange to be locked up with her for a day?
“withstand” isn’t really an active verb. I get the vague sense that the movie is going to be dull based on that. like her job is just to continue existing until someone lets them out. What does she need to DO?
You’re right, her own sense of virtue is still there, her moral reputation is questionable due to her work already so perhaps she is?just trying to restore freedom.
Ill-fated was a reference to her existing luck. i.e her unnecessary arrest.
What she needs to do during this 24-hour?stint is maintain control as the anti-social attempts to manipulate, however, the story is not entirely based on that, it relates back to the time before she was detained and uncovers the reasons why the two are coincidently connected and how a chance encounter leads to a difficult situation
“After an unjust arrest, an escort-worker must negotiate her way–locked alongside a psychopath–who evidently knows more about her than herself”
What’s she falsely accused of? (to establish stakes)
Still, that couldn’t be her only way out, logically speaking. I’m also unsure how his ‘knowing more about her’ poses a certain conflict. The verb here is negotiation. How cinematic is that (for 120 minutes)? Depends entirely on your writing skills.
Good Luck A_R_Road!
A premise which will be revealed through dialogues is not a great premise. Write a few pages of your story, if it works after a reread, continue with the plot else this will need a redo.
For the audience to root for the protagonist she needs to be actively trying to achieve her goal. This protagonist seems like through a series of unfortunate events she ends up in a prison cell where her only goal is to maintain control. I get that there?ll be some conflict and a connection between the two that?ll be revealed over time but I?m not sure that?s enough for a two hour film. Her freedom isn?t her choice either. The logline needs to tell us what she is actually trying to achieve and how she?s going about it.
Definitely drama not thriller. British and Urban – if the whole thing is set in a prison cell largely focusing on just two characters how is it considered British and urban when it could be set anywhere?
For the record, I think there?s potentially a good idea in here I just think the information given through the logline isn?t enough yet. Take the action out of the prison. Why can?t she be arrested and let out on bail then that creepy girl she met at the prison (who you got the sense knows the protagonist) turns up on her doorstep? Now I?m interested.
>>restore virtue
What’s the visual?? What does “restored virtue” look like?? Film is graphic medium.? The objective goal needs to be concrete, not abstract, something the audience can see on the screen.