Sin and Hawaii make a strange pair but no matter how beautiful things appear when God wants to get your attention, well he gets your attention no matter how hard he has to hit you on the side of the head.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
I dont understand this at all. It reads more like a tagline than anything, where we already know the story and the characters. You need to give your main character/s a goal, right now all they have is an obstacle (God).
You also need to include the inciting incident, i assume this is when god tries to get there attention? Or is that more in the second act? Once you have this inciting incident this has to be built upon, telling us how the second act takes off and what the obstacle is.
It does sound original and the way it reads im guessing a comedy? I would suggest reading the “How to writer a logline.” That should give you a better construction method.
hope this helps
Jamesmichael- I am not familiar with that book/website “How To Write a Logline”. What can you tell me/us about it, and where might I find it?
I’m sorry, I just meant from this website, in the ‘write it,’ section.
https://loglines.org/howto/ .
It gives an outline of what’s needed in a logline.
It’s best to leave out protag names. Are they angels? What are they trying to achieve? I assume God is the antagonist. How is he keeping them from achieving their goal?
I can’t even offer an alternative logline because you don’t provide enough information about your story. Like jamesmichael says, it’s read more like a tagline, albeit a little long. The hint of a story is intriguing to me though. I’d be interested when you come up with an updated logline.
Thanks. That makes sense. I changed it and reposted.