On a farm in the Portuguese countryside, two Indostanic immigrants with a forbidden attraction become the suspects after the mysterious death of their overbearing female boss. Without papers and pursued by the locals, they take refuge in the container where they live.
BartilottiPenpusher
On a farm in the Portuguese countryside, two Indostanic immigrants with a forbidden attraction become the suspects after the mysterious death of their overbearing female boss. Without papers and pursued by the locals, they take refuge in the container where they live.
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I think this is a really effective set up of the characters and the world! All the little details really encourage my curiosity and I am hooked! My only real critique is the last sentence, I believe that it can be more condensed. Perhaps something like ‘They take refuge from the law in a container unit’ or anything adjacent. I am completely spitballing, otherwise I am genuinely hooked on this concept. Simply slimming it down and making ever word essential will make it air tight.
I really like the different components of world-building, plot development, and the stakes. Who is the main character? Who’s POV are we using?