An agoraphobic man solves unusual crimes with the help of his next door neighbor.
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I’m not as familiar with loglines for a TV show premise, so this may be all the information needed to generate interest. My first reaction was “Monk with a different phobia”, although neither character seems to be in law enforcement of any kind.
Overall, I’d say I’m curious as to what motivates him to risk challeneging his phobia to solve crimes when he doesn’t have to. So, if curiosity will lead to a “read”, it succeeds to that end. I fear, though, it is lacking more information.
I like it! It has great potential as a story springboard. You’ve given just give enough info, so the reader can make up their own script… Never mind, it’s not the one you plan to write or have written.;)
My oldest friend on E. 76th in NYC was agoraphobic and a bridge card reading psychic. She could hear conversations weeks before they occurred. However next door neighbor started smelling as she was a drunk who’d died without notice… The end arc is the nursing home in Brooklyn where I send socks and babka.
How many people know what Agoraphobic means, why not put A man who has a phobia about going outside, solves unusual crimes with his neighbour.
What is an unusual crime? Is the neighbour his ex-wife or one of his kids?
You might want to change it completely, as there is a well made English tv series about a sort of agoraphobic crime solver, only that he dosen’t go outside at night.
The word Outside doesn’t imply anything. For a new show, the word can be forgotten, and thereby the show itself. The word might mean something to you, it might mean something to the character, but will it mean anything to someone reading the TV guide, looking for something to watch? Innerlimits would make them take notice, partly because it isn’t a word and partly because it causes a thought or a question to be asked.
Insider would surely be a better title, heh? I think similarities to other shows are a problem, but I think this could be an interesting setting so long as you don’t immediately abandon your agrophobic premise (I think many people know this term now) as it would be more interesting to see the disconnect between the isolated detective and his neighbour/agent who goes out in the real world to enact the investigation.
This is a good example of the confusion about how much to reveal in a logline. This one is interesting, yet reveals little about the premise, inciting incidents or anything but that there are two characters solving crimes.
Many script doctors would set about to try to ‘fix’ it with more information about the storyline, while if you added that information, those same script consultants would want you to remove the additional information from the logline to make people want to read the script to find out.
So which is best…? Who knows… Either way, some will suggest the other.
I like the general idea but I think more info is needed. I could see this as a surreal comedy.