Part of the municipal park was deforested. The wild cat Mitzi, remaining orphaned with her brothers, has to leave her home destroyed by wood cutters. She reaches the Big Park Reservation (Rodnei Mountains National Park), where she finds shelter in the abandoned cottage of the forester. It’s Christmas Eve and the inhabitants of the Big Park are preparing for the celebration. Mitzi and her brothers are having trouble even here, being disturbed by the bad guys: Kit-Bandit and Max-Mask. They dress up in wolves in order to scare them away from the reservation. Their true identity is discovered by the wild cat Stripy and his friends. The scheme is foiled and to Mitzi and her brothers are offered a better life, proof that their guardian angel has not left them in trouble…

Hi Haiduc Andrei,

For future reference, it would be better if you would post an attempt at a logline, even if you add more information in a comment to help the other members in the discussion. Looking through your previous posts it seems like you’ve posted logline attempts rather than a synopsis in the past.

Looking through what you’ve posted, it looks like the inciting incident is described as “has to leave her home destroyed by wood cutters.” The protagonist seems to be the Mitzi character. In order to form a logline, it would help to have a character trait. “Orphan” may describe her, but it doesn’t clue in the reader of the logline to the character’s personality.

Another problem is that I am unable to identify a clear goal for the protagonist in the synopsis you’ve posted. While the logline says, “The scheme is foiled and to Mitzi and her brothers are offered a better life” that doesn’t seem to be the goal because it seems like either a different character or an outside force is what causes this to happen. What is the main conflict in this story?

For a revision, please post a logline attempt which includes these parts:

Inciting incident – what is the single event which upturns the protagonist’s life and forces them to pursue their goal? (For example, in “Star Wars” this would be when Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle are killed by Stormtroopers.)

Protagonist – No need to include a name in the logline unless it is a historical character or pre-established character. Like I mentioned before describe the character with a trait or condition, possibly something which implies a character flaw. (Example:? a stubborn politician).

Goal – what?must?the main character accomplish, what does the inciting incident make the protagonist have to do? This drives the main conflict. (Example: In “Star Wars”, Luke Skywalker must help the Rebellion destroy the Death Star.)

Keeping all of those components in mind, what is the hook of your story? What makes it unique or interesting? What aspect is going to get someone’s attention and make them what to read a script?

Normally I would post a suggestion for a logline, but as I mentioned before I cannot identify a clear goal in your post which makes it difficult. I suggest reading through other loglines and attempting to review them yourself to help you better understand a logline’s parts. Also, review the ‘Our Formula’ tab at the top of the page.