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variableUberwriter
Posted: December 28, 20172017-12-28T02:52:03+10:00 2017-12-28T02:52:03+10:00In: Adventure

possible rom-com title “sunburn”

logline: “an insomniac girl falls in an unlikely friendship with the reluctant night watchman only to discover he is a vampire”

hey you know, you should get out, enjoy the sun…
…Oh wait, you can’t
(from Book “By the Light of the Moon”)

..so the goal i had in mind for them was to adjust their lives for the sake of one other, like:
For him to convince his bloodsucking family to back off. For her to convince her family to stop their demands to meet the boy.

I am confused who is the protagonist
I am confused of the film category (on the whole spectrum of rom-com, more romance or comedy)
Also, can somebody suggest a unique goal (this one sounds like twilight series)
Thanks

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-12-28T03:42:28+10:00Added an answer on December 28, 2017 at 3:42 am

      The big question is: what does she have to do once she finds out he’s a vampire? Does the movie end there? I hope not. And why will it matter and for what after that?

      At least her insomnia should help in the relationship, I would think.

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    2. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2017-12-28T05:51:36+10:00Added an answer on December 28, 2017 at 5:51 am

      You haven’t given us any clear conflict, adding that to the logline will help improve it.

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    3. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2017-12-28T23:38:22+10:00Added an answer on December 28, 2017 at 11:38 pm

      It’ s an interesting idea, but as Richiev notes,? it needs a clear conflict.? What dramatic problem is created by this situation?? What conflict, what struggle ensues as a result of the relationship?

      And as Brandon8719 asked, what is the hook that differentiates this from the “Twilight” series with which it will be immediately compared?

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