REVERSAL is an almost current day sci-fi drama with dark comedy.
mariegreenPenpusher
REVERSAL is when a newly widowed woman enters a retirement village and volunteers for a radical anti-aging trial, the treatment begins to work — splitting the community into rival factions and exposing how far people will go to escape decline.
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I think it is a promising premise, but it needs a tighter focus and more specificity.
For example, she volunteers for an anti-aging *drug* trial.
Also, a logline should begin where the plot begins, to wit, with the inciting incident. What kick starts the plot? When she enters a retirement community? I don’t think so. That’s setup, but I suggest it isn’t the inciting incident. The inciting incident is when the drug trial works. Complications ensue.
Also, the logline should state the objective goal the protagonist has a result of the inciting incident. So, what becomes her specific objective goal as a result of the results of taking the anti-aging drug? What is the specific problem/challenge/ complication she faces? Again, be specific,
Hope this helps.