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Mike PedleySingularity
Posted: October 5, 20182018-10-05T20:49:11+10:00 2018-10-05T20:49:11+10:00In: Western

When a horde of zombies kill the sheriff of a sleepy frontier town, a penitent gunslinger, sentenced to hang, leads the townsfolk in their desperate fight for survival.

When a horde of zombies kill the sheriff of a sleepy frontier town, a penitent gunslinger, sentenced to hang, leads the townsfolk in their desperate fight for survival.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2018-10-05T21:36:32+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      If it’s a Native American curse, then I presume the dead who are raised are also Native Americans.? Which, once again, casts the Native Americans in the stereotypical role of the bad guys, and the invading Europeans in the role of the good guys.

      I say this as someone who was born? in the American West,? whose forefathers squatted on and stole land from Native Americans, who plundered and exploited the natural resources (water, timber, gold, silver) without any thought of Native American rights:? that configuration of good guys vs. bad guys just doesn’t play anymore? in? American movies.? The? zeitgeist? has evolved; the cultural mythos for the Old West has changed.

      IMHO, the gunfighter is seeking redemption? by fighting for the wrong side.

      My 2.5 cents worth.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2018-10-06T03:41:56+10:00Added an answer on October 6, 2018 at 3:41 am

      I looked back to the old version of this and it looks the same, so I can’t tell if this version is the same as the old version or if you went back and changed the old version so it is the same as the revision.

      Anyway, I did a logline example in that version. I had the inciting incident as the sheriff being killed, this would explain why the townsfolk would turn to the convicted gunslinger. After, all the sheriff would normally be the protector of the town.

      Also, I don’t think we need to know about the native American curse since the goal isn’t to lift the curse, the goal is the fight the zombies, so the inciting incident would be when the zombie’s attack.
      ——————————————————————-
      “When their sheriff is killed by zombies, a gunslinger, sentenced to hang, is now the only one to lead the peaceful townsfolk in their fight against the undead horde.”

      ?
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    3. dpg Singularity
      2018-10-06T04:31:38+10:00Added an answer on October 6, 2018 at 4:31 am

      Mikepedley85.

      Thanks for the clarification.? My assumption was based upon my understanding of version 1.0.

      In the discussion thread for version 1.0, you said that your “over-arching theme [has] to do with the costs of mankind?s mindless destruction for the sake of progress.”? ?That is a theme well worth exploring.

      But I don’t see how the moral geometry of your proposed plot lines up.? How does the protagonist gain redemption by fighting for the people who have engaged in mindless destruction, fighting against?the people who have been resurrected to avenge the destruction or who are agents of the people (Native Americans) who have been the victims of the mindless destruction??

      Or to phrase it another way:? If you? are deploying zombies in service of your theme, on what side of the thematic argument are they?

      Regards

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    4. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2018-10-07T08:28:28+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2018 at 8:28 am

      You did a lot of work to avoid the word Zombie. We all think Zombie, just say Zombie. How the Zombies are created isn?t important, so you can drop that.

      Penitent and seeking redemption is much the same so chose one and work with that.

      A gunslinger sentenced to hang leads a town in a war against Native American zombies.

      Now add some colour to that and you?re done.

      I?d see it.

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    5. dpg Singularity
      2018-10-08T22:13:38+10:00Added an answer on October 8, 2018 at 10:13 pm

      >>>incapacitates the sheriff

      Only incapacitated?? Seems? weak to me.

      How about something like:

      Saved at his hanging by a zombie invasion, a gunslinger stays and fights for the people who want him dead rather than flee town for his life and freedom.

      >>Saved at his hanging
      Open with him being marched from the jail to the scaffold where he’s about to be hung, jeered on by a mob of townspeople.? As the noose being put around his neck — the zombies attack.

      >>>a gunslinger stays and fights
      Give him a clear cut opportunity to flee town in the ensuing chaos, save his live.? Then, for whatever reason, a reversal: he opts to stay and fight for the lives of the very people who want to see him hanged.? This implies a morally redeeming beat– but there’s no need to be explicit because that’s the subjective storyline and loglines are about the objective storyline.

      fwiw

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