Samurai
Posted: 2019-05-07T21:10:38+10:00 In:

Series logline: In 1961, a British double agent, retired and living under a new alias on the French Riviera, must thwart a corrupt government agent secretly leaking information to an underground organisation of Nazis, men he sabotaged many years ago.

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    5 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      My original logline:?A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.

      Though it’s fair to say this is closer to the pilot logline. Also, I rewrote the script last weekend so it’s changed a bit now.

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    2. Singularity

      >>secretly leaking information

      Intel about what?? What are the stakes?? ?Other than not getting caught, not being prosecuted for war crimes, what do members of the secret organization want to accomplish?? What threat do they pose?

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    3. Samurai

      I?m very intrigued by this premise. Love the genre myself. But still a bit confused. Is he basically being made to do the right thing (catch a Nazi)? The dark past stuff is great for a broken type hero but shouldn?t he have a good guy goal?

      Here?s a thought melding your two long lines (don?t know if it matches your script):

      ?A retired spy living the highlife on the French Riveria, must return to his old dangerous games to catch a Nazi war criminal. ?(23 words)

      And you can still add a couple words about what pulls him back in (inciting incident), by starting logline with ?After blah blah blah, a retired spy ….?

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    4. Singularity

      I like CkHarper’s rewrite.? ?A plot is a road? the protagonist must drive along and? he can’t? do that by looking only through the rear view mirror.

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    5. Samurai

      Thanks ckharper.

      I like your one. I?ll have to add the date so people don?t think the villain is very old.

      ?In 1961, a retired spy living the highlife on the French Riviera, must return to his old dangerous games to catch a Nazi war criminal?.

      Nice and short too.

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