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The_CNISamurai
Posted: December 30, 20182018-12-30T07:38:50+10:00 2018-12-30T07:38:50+10:00In: Fantasy

Set in the year 1693: When they flee the Salem witch trials and end up in the land of the Wendigo, a naive Witch must use the dangerous power of the Black Flame in order to protect her and her sisters from the ferocious demon.

Set in the year 1693: When they flee the Salem witch trials and end up in the land of the Wendigo, a naive Witch must use the dangerous power of the Black Flame in order to protect her and her sisters from the ferocious demon.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. The_CNI Samurai
      2018-12-30T07:39:43+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2018 at 7:39 am

      Looking for advice on how to streamline the logline and strip it to the bare and important elements.

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    2. [Deleted User]
      2018-12-30T19:04:36+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2018 at 7:04 pm

      Mentioning the Salem witch trials implies the year, so you can get rid of that. ‘They’ isn’t a very interesting way of introducing characters, perhaps ‘After fleeing…’ as this implies characters and action. We don’t know what the Black Flame is, does it need to be included? ‘naive… wield her new powers…’ may make the stated danger more personal. Is the Wendingo the ‘ferocious demon’? If so, why not describe it thus when you introduce it?

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