Penpusher
Posted: 2016-11-24T23:29:59+10:00 In:

Set up by her serial killer nemesis, an alcoholic detective comes under suspicion and must fight to remain in control of her investigation, her sanity and her freedom.

Set up by her serial killer nemesis, an alcoholic detective comes under suspicion and must fight to remain in control of her investigation, her sanity and her freedom.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      “Remain in control of her investigation, her sanity and her freedom” may be necessary measures for her to achieve her objective goal. ?But ?singularly or collectively they do not constitute her objective goal. ?Her objective goal is to apprehend the murderer and exonerate her name, right?

      And “remain in control of her sanity”? ?Alcoholics by definition have lost control of their ability to drink, are acting out ?of alcohol-induced ‘insanity’. ?So I’m guessing she’s got to sober up — get sane — in order to achieve her objective goal.

      I suggest you leverage more directly her character vulnerability, her alcoholism, for the plot. For instance, ?she’s so far down the path of alcoholism that she goes on binges while off duty, ?suffers from memory blackouts, comes to in places with no idea what ?happened, how she got there.

      So after an epic binge while off duty, ?she comes to after a black out beside a horribly mutilated dead body. ?With her fingerprints all over the crime scene.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      Good advise by DPG.

      I’ll add that you’d be better off describing the inciting incident in a more immediate, if not dramatic, way – After she is framed for a murder by her serial killer nemesis…

      The next step would be for you to come up with an original course of action for the cop. Cop’s being framed and needing to clear their name has become a trope, what else can she do that would put a spin on the premise? What if she purposely goes to jail in order to get close to the one that framed her?? Or asks the boss of a Mafia to help her? Whatever it is she does, the action needs to be clear from the logline. “…fight to remain in control…” could mean any number of things, it would be far better to specify what it is she actually needs to do, and make it original.

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