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petsie7Penpusher
Posted: May 21, 20162016-05-21T01:14:11+10:00 2016-05-21T01:14:11+10:00In: Drama

Sharp, an obsessive abolitionist, fights against the English Establishment for the ending of slavery. His legal victory ensures the release of a black slave in London, starting the abolition of slavery in the British Empire.

Sharp, an obsessive abolitionist, fights against the English Establishment for the ending of slavery. His legal victory ensures the release of a black slave in London, starting the abolition of slavery in the British Empire.
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    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-05-21T02:01:35+10:00Added an answer on May 21, 2016 at 2:01 am

      It is certainly a worthy subject for a film, but it needs more detail because after all these years, most people aren’t familiar with the man and his mission. ?So?fully name the historical character: ?it’s Granville Sharp, not just Sharp. ?And you need to indicate the time period, the 18th century.

      ?And ?it needs a strong emotional hook. ?I suggest refocusing the logline on his most dramatically compelling case, the horrific “Zong” atrocity, in which 132 slaves were thrown overboard to drown because the slave ship lacked the food and water to keep them alive for the middle passage. ?It doesn’t have a happy legal resolution, which is all the more reason ?contemporary audiences need to know what happened. ?Leave us in the audience outraged, lest we forget, lest we ever forget.

      ?This is a story that must be told. ?Best wishes.

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    2. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-05-21T06:05:49+10:00Added an answer on May 21, 2016 at 6:05 am

      Yes, very interesting idea. Though, I’m not familiar with it since dpg states that it’s based on actual events.
      I think the first sentence could be cut, it’s really just exposition that would be relayed through the rest. If he fights to release a slave, then you don’t need to state that he fights the British Establishment.
      My suggestion: After an obsessive abolitionist ensures the release of a slave, he sets into motion the dismantlement(try to vary word choice since you used a form of abolish before.) of slavery in the British Empire.

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    3. FFF Mentor
      2016-05-22T21:02:20+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      Yes, an interesting subject. As a logline, I would cut the ending. Focus on the main character’s jurney, find his flaw. ?”the abolition of slavery in the British Empire” will be just a tilescreen at the end of the movie. ?Maybe you can pick a clear individual antagonist to represent the ‘establishment’. In my opinion, the strenght of this kind of biopic depends on the writer’s ability to create?a universal portrait of a man strugglig for his cause, rather that educating the masses to historical facts.

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