Dark comedy turns black.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
She was always trying to "Figure things out." So, I pumped her full of lead. "Figure this out" I said.
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Is this a quote from the script? cause that’s what it sounds like. It might even be a tagline, it does succeed in getting my interest a little, but only a little. You need go here https://loglines.org/howto/ and read how to write a proper logline.
You need your protagonist (possibly with a flaw he needs to overcome is always good), the inciting incident that causes the script to propel forward and his goal, i.e what he wants to achieve from his journey. If you throw all these into it and leave out vague references to specific scenes in the script then the logline will come together alot easier.
hope that helps
Would make a great clip for a trailer. But it’s not a logline. Doesn’t tell us anything about the story.
Thanks James Michael. I like to poke with sticks. See what turns up. Thanks for your feedback. I find it most valuable. You are quite helpful with your learned counsel.
Paul Clarke, you’re quite right. I now understand perfectly what a Logline is.