Tommy Wylde is the bassist for the band Metric System, his dream is to do this job forever but his worsening addiction stands in the way of him achieving this, so he makes a plan to get better, this is easier said than done. His band mates, Styks, Dan and Mark try to help, but Tommy thinks he can fix his problems on his own, he can’t, after an overdose than nearly kills him he finally reaches out to Styks, his band mate, best friend and secret crush, and they work together with Dan and Mark to get Tommy’s life back on track.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
The bass player for a famous band struggles to keep his friendship intact and meet the demands of the job as he slowly succumbs to addiction, he must find a way to help himself or risk losing his life and career.
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I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus.
One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis.
“After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who’s never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his problem, and allow his bandmates to help him overcome his drug problem, which is much easier said than done.”
Just a thought.
One more thing. In most stories of this nature. A reasonably decent person enters the world of entertainment, goes to a party, and is offered drugs. Then one time becomes two, and two times becomes every day, then they are addicted and their life spirals out of control.
However, what isn’t always discussed is that some people are just shy, or have a fear of performing in front of a crowd. So they take a shot before they go on, or a pill. Then as the crowds get bigger, so does the amount of drinking and drugs. It isn’t them getting caught up in the party scene, it is how they cope with their fear of performing in front of an audience.
I have seen the first story many times, sometimes it is about a model or an actor who arrives in the big city innocent and then slowly is corrupted by drugs and alcohol.
But you never really see the second story, where the person gets addicted because of extreme performance anxiety, and their fear is, if they stop the drugs, can they even perform sober?
I love it! It tugged on my heart string and I was instantly there, playing it out in my mind.
I agree with the reviewer who said to move the addiction up into the first sentence. The rest is fine as is.