Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Alan SmitheePenpusher
Posted: July 25, 20232023-07-25T22:06:13+10:00 2023-07-25T22:06:13+10:00In: Short Film

The bass player for a famous band struggles to keep his friendship intact and meet the demands of the job as he slowly succumbs to addiction, he must find a way to help himself or risk losing his life and career.

Tommy Wylde is the bassist for the band Metric System, his dream is to do this job forever but his worsening addiction stands in the way of him achieving this, so he makes a plan to get better, this is easier said than done. His band mates, Styks, Dan and Mark try to help, but Tommy thinks he can fix his problems on his own, he can’t, after an overdose than nearly kills him he finally reaches out to Styks, his band mate, best friend and secret crush, and they work together with Dan and Mark to get Tommy’s life back on track.

  • 0
  • 2 2 Reviews
  • 32 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    2 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Richiev Singularity
      2023-07-27T11:00:28+10:00Added an answer on July 27, 2023 at 11:00 am

      I can visualize the story from the logline, which is a big plus.

      One critique, not a criticism. Since this is a short story, you should probably start the story from the moment of crisis.

      “After an overdose, an addicted Bass player, who’s never performed straight, must swallow his pride, admit his problem, and allow his bandmates to help him overcome his drug problem, which is much easier said than done.”

      Just a thought.

      One more thing. In most stories of this nature. A reasonably decent person enters the world of entertainment, goes to a party, and is offered drugs. Then one time becomes two, and two times becomes every day, then they are addicted and their life spirals out of control.

      However, what isn’t always discussed is that some people are just shy, or have a fear of performing in front of a crowd. So they take a shot before they go on, or a pill. Then as the crowds get bigger, so does the amount of drinking and drugs. It isn’t them getting caught up in the party scene, it is how they cope with their fear of performing in front of an audience.

      I have seen the first story many times, sometimes it is about a model or an actor who arrives in the big city innocent and then slowly is corrupted by drugs and alcohol.
      But you never really see the second story, where the person gets addicted because of extreme performance anxiety, and their fear is, if they stop the drugs, can they even perform sober?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. JC Miller Penpusher
      2023-07-28T04:55:57+10:00Added an answer on July 28, 2023 at 4:55 am

      I love it! It tugged on my heart string and I was instantly there, playing it out in my mind.

      I agree with the reviewer who said to move the addiction up into the first sentence. The rest is fine as is.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 8,000
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,717

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.