Samurai
Posted: 2017-03-30T14:12:29+10:00 In:

THE BEAST OF JAIPUR – When a lonely leper from the Untouchable class in modern day India ‘s only friend – a precocious 8 year old girl – is abducted by an evil supernatural figure and forced into sex slavery, he must overcome his debilitating disease and risk his life to rescue her.

THE BEAST OF JAIPUR – When a lonely leper from the Untouchable class in modern day India ‘s only friend – a precocious 8 year old girl – is abducted by an evil supernatural figure and forced into sex slavery, he must overcome his debilitating disease and risk his life to rescue her.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Not sure how one overcomes leprosy, would he not need treatment to be cured?
      Leprosy is not a character flaw it’s a medical condition. Seeing as he is the hero that will save the girl, what character flaw can you give him that will provide him with a good inner journey on his way to achieving his outer goal?

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    2. Uberwriter

      “When a lonely leper from the Untouchable class in modern day India ?s only friend ? a precocious 8 year old girl ? is abducted by an evil supernatural figure and forced into sex slavery, he must overcome his debilitating disease and risk his life to rescue her.”

      While the setting and exploration of the Indian caste system is interesting, it takes up too much space in the logline. Space that could be used to describe this supernatural figure. Also the specific action he takes to overcome this disease and the specific way he risks his life to rescue her. That leads into something else: it appears that your antagonist is only evil for the sake of being the antagonist. Why does the antagonist do what he does? It should be more than that he’s just evil.
      Another thing about the characters is that you seem to be falling into the ‘Damsel in Distress’ trope. What does the seemingly one prominent female character in your story do other than get captured and wait for the man to come rescue her? Also, why does it need to be him? He already has the disease that he must overcome, why doesn’t he just inform the authorities, seek out a supernatural person of his own?

      Example:?When his friend is abducted by a supernatural figure and forced into sex slavery, a poor Indian leper must overcome his disease to rescue her. (25)

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