Logliner
Posted: 2013-05-10T12:51:02+10:00

The death of their child prompts a grieving couple to perform a ritual that brings her back to life, but a violation of the ritual?s rules has horrific consequences for the couples friends and family.

For the Love of Willa

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    5 Reviews

    1. You’ve got something here. But so far it’s a tagline, not a logline.

      What you’re missing is the action. Check out this blueprint:
      “When [event] happens, [the main character] must [do main action]”.

      You’ve got the event; the ressurection gone wrong, you’ve got the main characters; the parents but what is their action?

      Hope that helps =)

      Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

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    2. Singularity

      You have to be a little careful because this idea has been done before. Re-animator and Pet Cemetery had the same basic premise as well.

      Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, just try to give it a good twist so it stands out.

      Good luck with this!

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    3. Singularity

      I think in addition to the above comments you could possibly try to specify the obstacles a bit more to help define the force of evil. Ultimately if it is their re animated daughter that turns into a monster then they will be faced with a struggle against her. But if it is a different force of evil in control of her body then they will be faced with a struggle against it, what ever it is.
      It is the definition of this force they will struggle with that will help shape the plot.

      I would also define the MCs better than they are now by this I mean give them names and jobs at least so we know who we are dealing with. Preferably define them as the last type of person to try using magic and prayer to add obstacles to the plot. Also ideally use their description to infer possible backstory that could relate to the mane plot.

      e.g:

      When stem-cell researchers Paul and Merry desperately revive their dead daughter and only child using an age old ritual. They miss read a portion of the ancient text and leave out a crucial ingredient resulting in the creation of a shape shifting monster that destroys the rest of their family.

      Hope this helps, Nir.

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    4. I like it but also I agree with comments above. To fix problems I suggest describing what exactly “horrific consequences” are. Child turned into a monster? Or maybe they need to sacrifice and kill another family member? Choose something – that will clearly define actions with obstacles and hook of your logline.

      Good luck!

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    5. The death of their child prompts a grieving couple to perform a ritual that brings her back to life but a violation of the ritual rules causes their child to bring out her murderous side on the rest of the family.
      -This is my suggestion, good luck!

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