The Leader of a Specialized Law Enforcement Group must save himself and his team on a uncontrolled, flesh eating demon infested train before it crashes and destroy everything on board. (Revision 3)
LeviathanSamurai
The Leader of a Specialized Law Enforcement Group must save himself and his team on a uncontrolled, flesh eating demon infested train before it crashes and destroy everything on board. (Revision 3)
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I think this is the best attempt so far.
However, I do like the previous goal of fighting their way to the engine room to stop the train better.?
The train’s going fast, maybe it is even a super train going 200 plus miles an hour, so the survivors are stuck on the train with the demons.
In order to escape the train, they must get to the engine room and engage the brakes… and thus get away.
1: I would have some sort of ‘Boss’ in the train’s engine that they must fight in the third act. The big finale’
2: I would keep the idea of the train crashing in the script, as a third act reveal, Maybe the meteor that turned the passengers into demons hit a bridge, not the train.? In the third act they discover that the bridge is out, now the ante has been upped. Not only must they stop the train to escape, but they must now stop the train before it gets to the deadly ravine where the bridge has been destroyed.
Anyway, the logline is definitely better.
What’s on this train that we don’t want to be destroyed? Other than the team that is.
Why are this team on the train in the first place? If they are sent there on a mission (which I think is the best idea as it sets up a lot more options) then there must be something on the train worth protecting.
Maybe the train is carrying some magical macguffin that opens up a portal to hell and some power surge (that disabled the remote ability to put the breaks on and they can’t contact the driver) on the train activated it hence the demons. The team are sent in (imagine a cool sequence where the team are trying to get on board this train at 200mph) to stop the train – that is their mission. But the people who sent them aren’t aware the portal’s been activated, they just know the train had a power surge and someone needs to apply the breaks manually. When the team get on board they discover the demons and have no idea what’s going on – chaos ensues, much fighting, etc etc. They board the train at the back and have to work their way to the front but the artefact is in the last carriage before the engine room (convenient right?). So the big finale that Richiev mentioned is them having to figure out a way to close this portal inside this moving train. Perhaps the end is this leader realising the only way to close it is to let the train crash?
That’s my rambling idea anyway – that’s kinda what I want to see. I’m possibly seeing this as more of an action film…
The Leader of a Specialized Law Enforcement Group must save himself and his team on
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The correct phrasing should be:
The Leader of a Specialized Law Enforcement Group must save himself and his team on an?uncontrolled, flesh-eating, demon-infested train before it crashes and destroy everything on board.